September 23, 2013 by Amy

1968

Written by: Henry Garson and Edmund Beloin. Directed by: Charles S. Barton.

This week’s adventure begins with Buffy and Jody greeting Scotty the doorman. Clutching Bill’s boots, the twins inform Scotty that their uncle is traveling to Maine for moose-hunting.

Aren’t their coats and hats cute?

Upstairs, Bill is haranguing poor Miss Lee by phone. He doesn’t want to be disturbed while he’s away.

“Don’t mess up my vacation and I’ll bring you back an antler,” he says. I wonder what she mutters under her breath as she hangs up the phone.

Meanwhile, Cissy has a new male obsession–Norton Webberly.

She asks Bill if she was wrong to accept two dates with Norton for the upcoming weekend–one for a movie and one for brunch.

Bill doesn’t see any problem with it.

He's mostly just excited to get his plaid on and kill some animals.

He’s mostly just excited to get his plaid on and start killing some animals.

He even volunteers to finish his own packing because French has plans to spend the evening visiting his brother on Long Island.

Bill's packing style is similar to mine.

Bill’s haphazard packing style matches my own.

He awakes to bad news the next morning, though. A blizzard has struck New York and trapped French on Long Island.

French seems upset about the situation, but I suspect he's secretly pleased to have his version of a "snow day."

French seems upset about the situation, but I suspect he’s pleased to have his version of a “snow day.”

While he waits to hear if his flight is cancelled, Bill sends the twins off to make breakfast–an inexplicable lapse in judgment.

This scene is cute, especially when Buffy attempts to strain shell fragments out of the eggs. Johnny Whitaker's giggle appears to be genuine.

This scene is cute, especially when Buffy attempts to strain shell fragments out of the eggs. Johnny Whitaker’s giggle is genuine. (Also, I like those Pyrex mixing bowls.)

Cissy comes along in time to rescue breakfast, but her weekend soon takes a turn for the worse.

Ah-choo!

Cissy is smart enough to know that, as a TV character, she will only sneeze when a raging cold is descending upon her. She’s horrified that Norton Webberly might see her with a red nose. Bill tells her she won’t be going out at all, unless the family doctor approves. (Really–consulting a doctor over a simple cold?)

Bill’s upset, too, because all flights out of JFK are grounded. He doesn’t feel any better after phoning one of the colleagues waiting for him in Maine.

This guy's all, "Oooh, you're having a blizzard? The weather up here is perfect."

Charlie’s all, “Oooh, you’re having a blizzard? The weather up here is perfect.”

Since Buffy and Jody are snowbound, Bill allows them to invite a few friends over.

He regrets this decision pretty quickly.

He regrets this decision right away.

French, reached by phone, proves that he’s earned his parenting stripes over the past year.

He suggests that Bill employ “the modern-day pacifier”–television. (Note that French’s brother likes Family Affair green as much as everyone else on this show.)

Bill sets the kids up in the den with Captain Hippopotamus.

As soon as he leaves, they switch the channel to a horror movie. I like that touch–these kids seem a little too old for Captain Hippopotamus.

Meanwhile, the doctor has ordered Cissy to bed. (Why can’t I find a doctor who will order me to bed when I get a cold?) She has to cancel her first of two dates with Norton, but she refuses to phone him herself. Norton has praised her “sexy voice,” and she doesn’t want him to hear the congested version. She enlists Sharon to do the dirty deed, instead.

To pass the time, she washes and sets her hair, only to find that her hair dryer is on the fritz.

My mom had a hair dryer like that when I was very little. I loved playing with it.

I never enjoyed hard plastic curlers, though. These huge ones look especially uncomfortable.

Bill, trying to fix the hairdryer, plugs it into the same outlet as the TV set. The kids think it’s cool when smoke starts billowing out of Dracula’s mouth–until the TV shorts out completely.

Bill also has to deal with Sharon, who never misses a chance to stir the you-know-what.

She’s let Cissy know that Norton is taking another girl to Radio City.

Bill practices some tough love on Cissy. He gets her to admit that she’s only just met Norton and is already hoping for “something they write great novels about.” He tells her that the relationship could be all in her mind, and that she’s not going to “be a great sensation” with every guy she meets. Surprisingly, this conversation improves Cissy’s mood.

While Cissy occupies Bill, the twins and their friends amuse themselves. Bill has already told them they can’t build a snowman on the terrace.

Seizing on a loophole, they haul snow inside and build their snowman in the living room.

Their snowman is actually a snow Mr. French. They are wondering what to use for his beard when Bill enters the room. Personally, I would have lost it right here. Buffy and Jody are old enough to know better. Bill reacts calmly, though he does order the twins to remove the snow and sends their friends home.

I guess he realizes that this special dry kind of snow will be easy to clean up.

Soon, Bill’s colleague in Maine calls with news. After buttering up a client all day, he’s landed their firm a big tunnel contract. He and the client are flying to White Sulphur Springs to finalize the paperwork, and he encourages Bill to meet them there with his golf clubs.

(Woo–a shout-out to my home state! Surely, they are referencing The Greenbrier. Golf is not a four-season sport in West Virginia, though.)

Bill, who was anticipating a real vacation rather than a working one, finds Charlie’s news underwhelming. He decides to spend his time off at home.

A knock at the door brings Cissy flowers and a nice note from Norton, so she's happy.

A delivery man shows up with flowers and a nice note from Norton, so Cissy ends the episode happy.

When French finally returns, he finds that Bill is happy, too.

He says he's experienced "the best change of scenery anyone's ever had with a couple of kids and a moonstruck teenager."

He says he’s experienced “the best change of scenery someone’s ever had with a couple of kids and a moonstruck teenager.”

Commentary

It’s funny how infrequently it snows in the Davis version of New York.

This is a cute episode, and it’s nice that Bill ends up enjoying the little aggravations of home life. If he spent more time at home, however, I’m not sure he’d be so sanguine. Indoor snowmen and cranky teens are probably more bearable as a novelty than as an everyday reality.

Continuity Notes

Scotty, Miss Lee, Sharon, Captain Hippopotamus–this episode is a continuity-palooza!

Random twin cuteness

Guest Cast

Charley: Ray Kellogg. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Sharon: Sherry Alberoni. Delivery Man: James Victor.

I’ve mentioned before that bit-part actors seem to find a niche. Kellogg usually played guards or policemen. This is Victor’s second Family Affair appearance; Alberoni and Lukas, of course, are mainstays.

September 21, 2013 by Amy

Family Affair Friday Delayed Until Monday

Because I’ve been traveling this week, I’m a bit behind in preparing this week’s Family Affair post. I apologize for the delay.

September 18, 2013 by Amy

My Five Favorite…Classic TV Show Openings

This month, I am honoring the premiere anniversaries of many classic TV shows. Check back frequently for episode recaps, fan magazine articles, special editions of Spin Again Sunday, and more. I will also be posting unique content on Facebook and Instagram.

When I was a kid, I made a TV theme song compilation with my cassette recorder. In my teens, after we acquired our first VCR, I committed a long string of show openings to video. In my 20s, I purchases more than one theme-song compilation CD.

From these facts, you can deduce two things:

I’ve always been kind of a loser.
I’ve always really loved theme songs.

Recently, I started thinking about my favorite TV show openings. The perfect opening combines music and visuals to tell a story, set a mood, and prepare the viewer for their imminent TV experience. These five openings do their job well.

(The first two shows on this list are celebrating anniversaries today. The Addams Family debuted September 18, 1964, and The Patty Duke Show premiered on that same date the previous year.)

The Addams Family
Composer: Vic Mizzy. Vocal Performer: Ted Cassidy.
Who can resist that finger-snapping rhythm? Recently, I saw a touring production of The Addams Family musical, and the crowd came to life as soon those familiar notes rang out. No wonder the tune is a favorite at sporting events. The lyrics are fun, too, with words like “kooky” and “ooky” to contrast with the deadpan visuals.

The Patty Duke Show
Composers: Sid Ramin and Robert Wells. Vocal Performers: The Skip-Jacks.
In classic television, the stranger a show’s premise was, the heavier a burden its theme song bore. For a premise like “this is a family with three kids,” you don’t need words at all. But if your show’s about a group of passengers on a three-hour cruise who get shipwrecked, you have some explaining to do. Few premises are as unlikely as “identical cousins,” but The Patty Duke Show theme does a good job laying out the situation and distinguishing between the girls. This opening also gives us fun lyrics like “Our Patty loves to rock and roll/A hot dog makes her lose control” over images of teenage life.

The Dick Van Dyke Show
Composer: Earle Hagen.
The tune is as jaunty as Van Dyke himself, and the producers’ clever ploy of filming two opening sequences (used during seasons two through five) kept viewers guessing from week to week–would Rob Petrie trip over the ottoman or deftly sidestep it?

Room 222
Composer: Jerry Goldsmith.
I have a soft spot for this one. The recorder-laced melody captures the mingled excitement and ennui of a new school day. Besides, the mini-skirt-and-knee-socks fashions are adorable.

All in the Family
Composers: Lee Adams and Charles Strouse. Vocal Performers: Carroll O’Connor and Jean Stapleton.
As a kid, I didn’t know who Glenn Miller or Herbert Hoover were, and “Gee our old La Salle ran great” was a undecipherable string of syllables. Still, I understood where these characters were coming from. Maybe it was the line “Girls were girls and men were men” that gave it away. Like my own blue-collar grandparents, the Bunkers were pining for a simpler world that was slipping away. Even the visuals of Queens reminded me a bit of my grandparents’ neighborhood outside Pittsburgh. And Jean Stapleton’s tortured high note sums up her character beautifully.

What are your favorites?

Spin Again Sunday Extra: Bewitched (1965)

(Note: I meant to post this yesterday because Bewitched was celebrating an anniversary–it premiered September 17, 1964. Alas, I was too busy packing for the Mid-Atlantic Nostalgia Convention. I’ll be tweeting from there over the next few days.)

Today’s Game: Bewitched

Copyright Date: 1965.

Manufacturer: T. Cohn, Inc.

Recommended Ages: 6-12.

Subtitle: The Samantha and Endora Game. Don’t worry, though–the manufacturers certainly didn’t forget about Darrin.

As in the show, however, Darrin doesn't escape with much dignity intact.

As in the show, Darrin doesn’t escape with much dignity intact.

Oddities: Besides the obscure manufacturer and the unusual subtitle, the strangest thing about this game is a blurb on the inner box lid that describes the show’s premise. This description varies significantly from the premise of Bewitched as it appeared on screen:

Samantha and Darrin loved each other very much. So they married and thought they would live happily ever after. But one day Samantha disclosed that she was really a WITCH. Although that confession created some minor problems, they still were confident that everything would turn out just fine especially since Samantha would become a human after one year of marriage to a mortal. However, during that year Darrin Stevens finds himself somehow subjected to witchcraft.

If the show had used that premise, seasons 2 through 8 sure would have been boring!

Object: Be the first to enter Vacation Land.

Game Board: Darrin is everywhere. Little Darrin heads line the path players navigate, and each Bewitched Space displays Darrin in an awkward Endora-spawned situation.

Game Pieces: The game has two spinners. The regular spinner features a cartoony Samantha figure in witch garb. The Witchcraft spinner intersperses Samantha and Endora heads with those Darrin pictures from the game board. The game also includes 4 witch cards–two of Endora and two of Samantha–and five Bewitched cards featuring those Darrin scenes again.

Game Pieces: You get to play as your favorite character, as long as your favorite character is Darrin.

The four Darrin game pawns, plus two witch cards.

Game Play: On his turn, a player can spin the numbered spinner and move as indicated. His other choice is to take a witch card. He then takes a Bewitched card and sends the opponent of his choice to the matching Bewitched space on the board. The opponent can accept this or draw her own witch card. The two players then reveal their witch cards. If one person has Endora and one has Samantha, the person with Samantha has to retreat to the next matching Bewitched space. If they have the same witch, the original player moves back six spaces. Once on a Bewitched space, a player cannot leave it until he spins either Endora, Samantha, or the picture matching the Bewitched space on the witchcraft spinner.

Strategy: The idea is to use witchcraft to slow opponents who are approaching Vacation Land.

My Thoughts: This has been one of my “holy grail” games for a while because Bewitched has always been one of my favorite classic TV shows. It’s not especially hard to find, but it’s hard to find at a reasonable price. Box wear made this one fairly affordable, and box condition is not my highest priority when buying vintage games. I look for completeness and a colorful, aesthetically pleasing board.

Other Spin Again Sunday posts you might enjoy:

The Bride Game

What Shall I Be?

Happy Days Game

September 13, 2013 by Amy

Family Affair Friday(ish): Season 2, Episode 19, “The Fish Watchers,” 1/22/1968

Written by: Ted Sherdeman and Jane Klove. Directed by: Charles Barton.

At breakfast in the Davis apartment, the kids ask how long Uncle Bill will be “living at his office.” Cissy explains that he’s not actually living there, and French reassures the kids that Bill’s time away from home doesn’t reflect a lack of affection for them.

We cut to the office where Bill is wearing his Denim Shirt of Manual Labor.

We learn that a serious problem is keeping Bill away from home. A thief has been plundering one of his company’s construction sites, getting away with 10,000 feet electric conduit and 100 gross of outlet boxes. (That’s an oddly specific bit of scripting.)

Bill has a plan, though–he’s posing as one of his own workers to catch the thief red-handed. Why this is a better plan than involving the police, he doesn’t say.

Calling home to let French know he’ll be working late again, Bill seems distressed to learn that all the children are out for the evening. Jody and Cissy are each visiting a friend, and Buffy is helping a neighbor with domestic tasks.

Bill heads to the construction site, where he makes a new friend–a welder who would rather be a draftsman.

They eat together, which Bill probably regrets since this welder likes to announce each food item as he removes it from his lunchbox.

Bill feels inadequate because his main course is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. (French must have decided it was easiest to pack Bill the same lunch the kids get.)

When Bill returns home late that night, he frets to French about the way the family is disintegrating in his absence.

He also asks French to make tomorrow’s lunch “fancier.” Poor French sets his alarm for 4:30 a.m. so he can fry chicken.

The next day, Bill learns that Welder Guy is also a parenting expert. Hearing Bill complain about spending so much time away from the kids, he suggests that a shared project would bring the family together. Welder guy’s idea of a suitable project? Tropical fish.

Bill takes this advice to heart. When he returns home, he presents the twins with a couple of fish in a jar.”

Jody calls the “live sardines,” but Bill explains that they are guppies and they originated in Trinidad.

Jody gets a cute line here: “Just like our teacher said…everybody but the Indians came from someplace else.”

Bill also tells them that one of the guppies will soon give birth to 60 or 70 babies.

In preparation for the blessed event, they buy an aquarium and Bill dumps the fish in. (I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to transfer fish, is it?)

They also head to the pet store to get a few more occupants for the aquarium.

The pet store clerk lets them pick out various species, based solely on looks, without offering any advice.

The Davis family must have chosen this pet store for its Family Affair green walls rather than for its customer service. The clerk lets them pick out various species, based solely on looks, without offering any guidance.

The kids find their aquarium entertaining–for a little while. Soon, they want to start spending time with friends again, although they feel an obligation to “watch Uncle Bill’s fish for him.”

The downside of fish ownership soon becomes clear.

For one thing, the twins can only look on in horror as other fish devour the newborn guppy babies.

(I love this scene. It sums up my childhood experience with fish perfectly.)

Then Jody discovers a sick goldfish in the middle of the night and has to wake up Uncle Bill for help. (Random note: I like Bill’s bedding.)

Bill remembers that his mother used to put sick goldfish in saltwater, so he gives it a try and averts disaster.

The next day on the job site, Bill’s know-it-all welder friend says the fish would be healthier if they got to eat some live food, like mosquito larvae.

This results in an implausible late-night attack by mosquitoes on every Davis family member.

This only results in an implausible late-night attack by mosquitoes on every Davis family member.

Fortunately, Bill’s work problems are coming to an end.

He finally catches the thieves in action and gives them a good beat-down.

Revealing his identity, he offers his welder friend a drafting position, complete with on-the-job training.

At home, the kids are relieved that they don’t have to babysit Bill’s fish anymore.

He explains that he got the fish for all of them because families should do things together. Buffy suggests that the whole family learn to sew, as she’s doing, and Jody thinks the whole family should play toy soldiers with him.

“We never realized we should be interested in the same things,” a puzzled Cissy says.

Bill admits that they can pursue their individual interests without sacrificing family closeness.

Everyone seems relieved to hear that Bill’s giving the fish to the welder guy.

Normally, I would worry about the Davis tendency to acquire and relinquish pets at a furious rate, but I think the welder guy is getting what’s coming to him.

Commentary

This episode’s writers must have had experience with fish and kids. They did a good job portraying the gruesome learning opportunities an aquarium can provide.

It was nice to see Bill so active in this episode; for the past several weeks, he’s mostly been reacting to the kids.

Guest Cast

Scott Norvell: Ray Baxter. Bookkeeper: Gene Tyburn. Salesman: Gene Barton. Guard: Howard Culver. Driver: Jack Lilley. Helper: Guy Way.

Baxter was in The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming! with Brian Keith and Johnnie Whitaker.

Gene Tyburn as Uncle Bill’s bookkeeper has a certain geeky charm.

Lilley, who plays a driver here, appeared in many episodes of Little House on the Prairie as a stagecoach driver. He also worked as a stuntman and an animal wrangler.

September 12, 2013 by Amy

Spin Again Sunday Extra: The Family Affair Game (1971)

Several classic TV shows celebrate broadcast anniversaries today–Bonanza, The Bugaloos, The Monkees, Lassie, Family Affair. Choosing which one to focus on was a no-brainer.

Today’s Game: The Family Affair Game.

Copyright Date: 1971.

Manufactured By: Whitman. (Remco made another, much more rare, Family Affair game. After years of trying to acquire it for a reasonable price, I finally purchased it last week. It will get the spotlight in a future installment of this series.)

Recommended Ages: 6 to 10.

Object: Be the first player to find Mrs. Beasley.

Box: A lovely pastel-colored portrait of Buffy and Jody playing in the park. Jody’s head looks weird and misshapen, yet it’s still one of the best Johnnie Whitaker likenesses I’ve seen on Family Affair collectibles. In the background, French looks younger, thinner, and somehow more sinister than his TV self. Speaking of sinister…

Bwa-ha-ha! They’ll never find me!

Game Board: Buffy and Jody’s favorite place, Central Park, comes to life in appealing illustrations. The zoo, a lake, a garden, and a playground dominate the scene.

The board, with closeups of its four park settings.

Disembodied Cissy, French, Buffy, and Jody heads float in the middle of the board.

At least, I think this is supposed to be Cissy.

Game Pieces: These are also Cissy, French, Buffy, and Jody.

We even get to see their backsides, so to speak.

The game also includes a spinner and, as we will see, eight cards.

The spinner.

Game Play: To set up the game, players place the cards face-down in designated spaces. On his turn, each player spins and moves his pawn toward a card space. If he lands on one by exact count, he turns the card over.

Most card images are pretty random. They look like they'd fit in with the artwork at Chez Davis, though.

The card images are pretty random. They look like they’d fit in with the artwork at Chez Davis, though.

The winner is the person who turns over one particular card.

If I’d seen this as a kid, I’d still be having nightmares.

My Five Favorite…Gunsmoke Radio Episodes

Over the next month, I will be honoring the premiere anniversaries of many classic TV shows. Check back frequently for episode recaps, fan magazine articles, special editions of Spin Again Sunday, and more. I will also be posting unique content on Facebook and Instagram.

The classic Western Gunsmoke launched its 20-year TV run on September 10, 1955. To observe its anniversary, I’m cheating a bit and focusing on the radio version that pre-dated it. I always enjoyed TV’s Gunsmoke, which I discovered while in my teens. (Mostly, I enjoyed watching for little shippy moments between Matt and Kitty.) The radio version, though, blows me away with its darker Western vision. Bill Conrad conveys an especially wide range of emotion as Matt Dillon.

I’m also cheating a bit in naming favorite episodes because I haven’t listened to the entire radio run. (I dread the day when I have no new episodes left to discover.) Furthermore, I love so many episodes that my “favorites” list could change from day to day. These five episodes are excellent, though, and each evokes a different mood.

1. “Home Surgery,” September 13, 1952

“I rolled a smoke and looked out across the flat distances of the prairie. And I wondered how anyone could survive in all that emptiness.”

When Matt and Chester come upon an isolated homesteader suffering from blood poisoning, Matt takes desperate measures to try to save him. Conrad’s performance is appropriately tortured, especially in the scene just following surgery.

2. “Kitty,” November 29, 1952:

“She was like a seventeen-year-old on her first date. She was like all the women you’d ever known or loved–soft and innocent.”

Matt asks Kitty to be his date at a benefit for the school. She appreciates the problems this will cause, if he doesn’t. This episode gives us a giddy and romantic side of Matt. He even sings at one point!

3. “There Never Was a Horse,” September 19, 1953:

“I sure don’t like the idea of dying…but I got over being afraid of it a long time ago.”

A gun-fighter rides into town, bent on challenging the marshal. Matt’s not sure that he can win a confrontation, so Conrad’s performance is a believable mix of vulnerability and strength.

4. “Fawn,” September 26, 1953:

“I never heard of sending a woman to Dodge, for her to be better off.”

A woman held captive by the Cheyenne for 10 years gets her freedom and travels to Dodge to wait for her husband. The daughter she had in captivity is with her, and they face hostility from many quarters. This episode has a good message, a sweet ending, and a nice supporting performance by John Dehner. It’s also a radio Gunsmoke rarity–an episode with no deaths.

You may remember Helen Kleeb, who plays the former captive, as Mamie Baldwin from The Waltons. Mamie was the darker-haired Baldwin sister who wasn’t obsessed with Ashley Longworth.

5. “Marshal Proudfoot,” July 20, 1958:

“Chester bordered on being ignorant, I think. I can’t imagine how he ever got to be a marshal.”

Chester’s father shows up looking his son, whose letters home have exaggerated his position in Dodge. This is a hilarious outing. (For personal reasons, I also like the PSA that mentions the land-grant act.)

Bonus Feature

Turning back to the the TV show, I present this article about James Arness from TV Star Parade, May 1963. As fan magazine stories go, it’s a dramatic one, and it would have sad echoes–Arness’ first wife later died of a drug overdose, as did his daughter.