Sorry that this week’s installment of my Family Affair series is a bit late. Our episode this weeks concerns a cultural clash, with the cultures involved being swinging-’60s-British-youth-sanitized-for-family television and Mr. French’s weird Downton-Abbey-throwback lifestyle.

Written by: Edmund Beloin and Henry Garson. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

As we look in on the Davis family, Uncle Bill is leaving again, this time for a short trip to San Francisco.

To his credit, he looks pained to be leaving the kids this time, and he comments that they have turned him into a homebody.

As the kids leave for school, Cissy mentions that Mr. French will be picking up his nephew at the airport later.

French, meanwhile, has Bill’s suitcase packed, his airline tickets ready, and a list of recommended San Francisco eateries prepared. Sigh–I so need to get me a French.

From French, Bill learns that nephew David is visiting New York on his way to live in California as an exchange student. (David is the son of Algernon French. I wonder how many French brothers exist?) When Bill mentions that David and Cissy might hit it off, French recoils from the idea.

“One of the very first rules my father laid down when my brothers and I went into service was that undue familiarity doomed the relationship between master and servant,” he notes.

Understandably uncomfortable with this language, Bill prefers to think of him and French as people who “work together.” He accepts French’s views on the subject, however, quoting his own father as saying, “Don’t argue with a man who has his mind made up.”

Later, French shows David around the apartment and points out the “extraordinary” view of the Manhattan skyline. (And, extraordinary it surely is, with that painted look and all.)

David offends his uncle’s servile sensibilities by calling the apartment “a splashy pad” and speculating about how much “lolly” Bill makes.

Then he really upsets the old guy with the news that he won’t be following in the French “gentleman’s gentleman” tradition.

He’s passing on a cushy career working six long days a week, living in one cramped room, wearing uncomfortable uniforms, and submitting completely to another person’s wishes? What other kind of career could possibly tempt him?

David wants to be a dentist!

Hmm…forsaking centuries of tradition for a career in dentistry? What other 1960s character does David remind me of?

Oh, yeah.

When the kids come home from school, Cissy and David take an immediate liking to each other.

Uh-oh.

Soon they’re comparing notes on sports, and Cissy is inviting him to an American football game. (In the spring?)

David and Cissy’s rapport is obvious later when they meet in the park.

Unfortunately, French’s butler friends are there to witness this meeting.

Shock and awe. (By the way, didn’t Withers leave his job and move to Connecticut? Has his marriage broken up already?)

David shares a meal with the family, and it’s clear that they all like him.

Buffy even asks David to fix Mrs. Beasley’s teeth. When Jody observes that Mrs. Beasley doesn’t have any teeth, Buffy says David can provide some–and then Mrs. Beasley might talk with a British accent.

French continues to stew, however, especially after Cissy’s friend Sharon arrives with tickets to a jazz festival. She invites Cissy and David to accompany her and her boyfriend.

The return of Sharon. She seems nicer here than in her last appearance, but if I were Cissy, I’d keep an eye on her with David.

When French learns that David has invited Cissy to help see him off at the airport the next day, he can’t contain his feelings anymore.

He pressures David to retract the invitation. Random decor note: I wouldn’t mind having that lamp, as a kitschy kind of piece.

David’s sudden, unexplained change of heart saddens Cissy.

Seeing her reaction, French admits that he told David to dis-invite her.

Cissy’s angry, but luckily Uncle Bill has returned home and is ready to set things right.

He gently reminds French that the generation gap is universal, and that teens don’t always accept their elders’ ideas: “You can live your own life, but you can’t live theirs.”

French relents and tells Cissy to change clothes for the airport–her “slack ensemble” is hardly correct for such an occasion.

In the episode’s tag, Buffy and Jody examine a letter just delivered for Uncle Bill.

The twins, whose IQs fluctuate wildly from week to week, have apparently been beaten by the stupid stick again–they can’t even sound out Canada.

As it turns out, the letter is from Mr. Giles French, who announces his imminent return to the Davis household.

The kids are thrilled. “Neato-bosso!” Buffy exclaims, in what the writers must have considered a plausible bit of kid-slang. Apparently, they didn’t know any children.

They are sad to think of Nigel French leaving, however. Jody suggests moving himself into Uncle Bill’s room to make room for both Frenches. Surprisingly, Uncle Bill rejects this idea.

Well, it all evens out, as Buffy notes: “We get one Mr. French, and we lose one Mr. French.”

Commentary

I think this kind of episode premise appeals to kids. It’s always fun to see adult pretensions punctured, as young people strike a blow for egalitarianism. It also plays to the idealized American notion of rising above class differences.

Guest Cast

David: Martin Horsey. Withers: Richard Peel. Middlebrook: Maurice Dallimore. Sharon: Sherry Alberoni.

Martin Horsey played the Artful Dodger in the original London production of Oliver! This is former Mouseketeer Sherry Alberoni’s second appearance on Family Affair. Maurice Dallimore played a butler (named Faversham!) in an episode of Petticoat Junction.

Fun Facts

Uncle Bill disliked school when he was the twins’ age.

Random fashion note: Jody wears this shirt a LOT.

Continuity Notes

Cissy mentions the Velvet Vultures and Terre Haute.

Today’s Bonus Feature

A short gossip item from TV Radio Mirror, April 1970.

Welcome to this delayed edition of Family Affair Friday! I’ve emerged from my camping adventure unscathed, if unrested, and ready for another installment of Davis family fun.

Season 1, Episode 24, “Everybody Needs Somebody,” 3/13/1967

Written by: Ed James and Seaman Jacobs. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

As the show opens, the twins are getting on everyone’s nerves.

Jody makes one his anti-girl cracks, which Cissy doesn’t appreciate. She orders him to get lost. Meanwhile, doesn’t Mrs. Beasley look forlorn? Maybe she senses what’s coming next.

Jody leaves the girls’ room, but not before swiping Mrs. Beasley. Much running and screaming ensues.

The chase is on.

The caper comes to a halt when the kids reach Uncle Bill’s desk, where they knock down his plans for “the longest bridge in Venezuela.”

Oops.

Mr. French has had it, so he lowers the boom: No TV for two nights.

And that includes Captain Hippopotamus. (The name of the twins’ favorite show is clearly based on Captain Kangaroo, but the show itself, as Buffy describes it, sounds more like an adventure serial.)

Almost immediately he begins to doubt his disciplinary actions–was he being too harsh? Nigel is definitely the sensitive French brother. Punishing Buffy and Jody was a favorite activity for Giles French.

The next day, French takes the twins with him as he purchases a wedding present for fellow butler Withers. In response to the kids’ questions, French explains why marriage is such a happy occasion. (French’s real feelings on the subject seem to be less positive, however–he fears Withers is giving up his career for “what may be a matrimonial disaster.”)

French picks out the perfect present–a sterling silver pickle fork!

Could have been worse for Withers–French could have bought that hideous bird thing. (Note that the store walls are our favorite shade of green.)

The marriage conversation gives the twins a brainstorm–never a good thing. They are determined to find a Mrs. French!

Ah, here’s a likely candidate.

The twins try to play matchmaker between French and Miss Faversham. French, however, jumps to the conclusion that the twins want to replace him with Miss Faversham because he’s been too tough on them.

Suddenly, it’s liberty hall at the Davis apartment.

TV before homework and cookies and punch before dinner–yes, Jody, this is shocking.

Uncle Bill steps in and asks the kids why they don’t like French. Shocked, they reply that that they love him and that he’s their best friend besides Uncle Bill himself and Cissy. (Guess they’ve forgotten the other Mr. French–or the Frenches have merged in their childish brains.)

Soon, however, French catches the kids inspecting his room to see if Miss Faversham would like it.

Luckily, Cissy gets wind of their ideas and fills in Uncle Bill, who gets the whole scheme out of them. French is touched to hear how concerned the kids were about his happiness.

The three have a sweet talk about marriage, and Uncle Bill explains that each person must find happiness in his or her own way.

Interestingly, Uncle Bill also expresses his own determination to marry one day. Jody, on the other hand, is a budding confirmed bachelor.

Commentary

The concluding talk is definitely the highlight of this episode. Structurally, the plot is unsatisfying, with an abrupt resolution.

Guest Cast

Withers: Richard Peel. Peter: Kevin Cooper. Clerk: Pitt Herbert. Miss Faversham: Heather Angel. Herbert was a frequent TV guest star who played a toy store owner in two Brady Bunch episodes. He also had small parts in such films as Hud, Dear Brigitte (John Williams also appeared) and The North Avenue Irregulars. He had a recurring role on Perry Mason as an autopsy surgeon.

Random observation: Uncle Bill was having a bit of a wardrobe malfunction with his tie here.

Burning Question

What would Giles French think of the kids’ attempt to fix Miss Faversham up with his brother?

Random literary observation: Some of Jody’s books look like Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew volumes. Did boys read Nancy Drew in the ’60s?

Continuity Notes

This French has the same day off as his brother–Thursday. Nigel French mentions his brother in this episode. At least he remembers him.

Inconsistency Alert

Buffy, who could perform multiplication in the past, cannot subtract 6 from 15.

Notable Quotes

Jody: “How are we gonna get them married, Buffy? We can’t even get them to play checkers.”

Random ugliness: Nice hallway decor. Uncle Bill’s lame interior decorator friend must have performed her magic on the whole building.

This Week’s Bonus Feature

Another silly Kathy Garver cover–TV Picture Life, September 1967

Welcome to Family Affair Friday, appearing on an actual Friday this week! In this episode we learn the twins’ bedtime, the general location of Uncle Bill’s office, and the limits of Mr. French’s linguistic abilities. We also get to see the only Family Affair guest cast member who was also a stripper. At least, I think she was the only one.

Season 1, Episode 23, “The Mother Tongue”

Written by: George Tibbles. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

It’s 8 p.m. in the Davis household, which means it’s bedtime for Buffy and Jody.

The twins plead for a later bedtime, telling Uncle Bill that their new friend Marilyn gets to stay up to 8:30. Uncle Bill sends them off to bed anyway.

I don’t blame him. I think I’d be tired of Buffy and Jody by 8 o’clock, too.

The next day, the twins continue to rave about their new friend, who has inspired them to adopt higher standards of politeness and neatness.

They even give French a bow and curtsy as they leave the breakfast table. Naturally, he’s baffled.

When French meets Marilyn, he quickly discovers that she doesn’t speak English.

He finds himself in the first of several bowing standoffs with her. You know, that old TV trope–a non-Asian person meets an Asian person, and the Asian person bows, so the non-Asian person bows back, and then the Asian person bows again, and so on? Yes, it’s quite tedious.

French and Uncle Bill marvel at the ease with which Buffy, Jody, and Marilyn play, despite their language barrier.

Look, Buffy owns another doll besides Mrs. Beasley. I don’t know what kind of doll it is, but I’d bet Mattel made it.

Unfortunately, French decides to brush up on his own Cantonese so he can communicate with Marilyn.

The next time she comes over to play, he tries to tell her that she has the eyes of a fawn and the face of an angel.

He actually tells her that she has “the ears of a pig and the face of a horrifying demon.”

Marilyn, understandably, flees in horror.

Marilyn’s father, a member of the Chinese delegation to the UN, pays Uncle Bill a visit at the office.

He explains French’s mix-up and tells Bill how upset Marilyn’s mother and grandmother are about the inadvertent insult.

Uncle Bill promises that French will make amends, and French does try to do so when Marilyn returns to the Davis apartment. He hasn’t quite mastered the word “angel,” though–he tells her she has “the face of a serpent.”

Oh, no, he didn’t!

This prompts another visit from Marilyn’s father to Uncle Bill’s office.

Hmm. The UN is between 42nd and 48th streets, and Uncle Bill thanks Marilyn’s father for coming “downtown” to his office. To solve such a small problem, Marilyn’s father is really going out of his way.

Bowing to the wishes of his wife and mother-in-law, Mr. Chen bans Marilyn from playing with Buffy and Jody.

Marilyn, we hardly knew ye.

Facing the twins’ wrath, French decides to pay the Chens a visit.

Yes, Marilyn, I’d be wary, too.

Greeting Mrs. Chen and her mother, French gets off to a good start.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t leave it at that.

The ladies don’t take this especially well, at least at first. (Anyone know how to say “My walls are Family Affair green” in Cantonese?)

Marilyn, however, begins to see the humor in French’s well-meaning attempts.

Soon, the whole Chen family realizes that French meant no harm. By the end of the episode, Buffy and Jody have picked up some Cantonese, and Marilyn is learning English (such as “color television”).

As French and Uncle Bill look on fondly, the three children indulge in some imaginary gun play.

Oh, Marilyn…You’re going to fit in here just fine.

Commentary

A nice aspect of Family Affair is the cosmopolitan world the Davises inhabit. They interact with people across a wide range of ethnic, racial, and socioeconomic backgrounds. I like the way the kids in this episode communicate across the cultural barrier with ease, while the adults struggle a bit. And the translations of French’s compliments are funny.

Random observation: John Williams is really tall, and Kathy Garver is really short.

Guest Cast

Mr. Chen: Richard Loo. Marilyn: Lisa Fong. Mrs. Chen: Noel Toy. Grandmother: May Lee.

This capture is from the third visit Mr. Chen paid to Uncle Bill’s office. He must have really liked getting away from the UN.

Richard Loo had an active film career within the limits imposed on Asian-American actors of his time. He played Japanese characters in many World War II-era movies including Wake Island (Brian Donlevy from Episode 15 starred), Flying Tigers, and God is My Co-Pilot (with Andrea King from Episode 17). Later films included Love is a Many Splendored Thing, Around the World in 80 Days (the large cast also included Katy Koury from Episode 8) and The Man with the Golden Gun. He was Master Sun on TV’s Kung Fu and made guest appearances on many shows.

Noel Toy started her career as an exotic dancer and earned the nickname “the Chinese Sally Rand.” In 1945, she married character actor Carleton Young, who also made several Family Affair guest appearances. (We saw him a few weeks ago in Episode 20.)

Lisa Fong’s father was actor Benson Fong, who will show up three times in later Family Affair seasons.

Today’s Bonus Feature

Coming soon!