Family Affair Friday: Season 2, Episode 16, “Family Reunion,” 1/1/1968

Since yesterday was Ray Bradbury’s birthday, I will introduce this week’s Family Affair episode thusly:

Something wicked this way comes.

Something wicked this way comes.

(You might want to review Aunt Fran’s history from the Pilot and Episode 1.22 before reading further.)

Written by: Ed James. Directed by: Charles Barton.

We begin with mail call at the Davis apartment. Even Buffy and Jody receive mail.

French gives them anything marked "Resident" or "Occupant."

French gives them anything marked “Resident” or “Occupant.”

Cissy reacts with alarm to a letter she receives.

It's from Aunt Fran! A faint whiff of sulfur coming from the envelope was probably the first hint.

It’s from Aunt Fran! A faint whiff of sulfur coming from the envelope was probably the first hint.

Fran has written that she’s looking forward to seeing the children again. (“Mwah-hah-hah” is implied at the end of the sentence). The kids are relieved when Uncle BIll explains that Fran is talking about a visit, not a permanent move. It seems she’s hosting a family reunion at her home in Terre Haute and wants Bill and the kids to attend. Bill had already decide to decline because he fears the trip will stir up traumatic memories for everyone.

The kids soon convince him that they want to see the old hometown, catch up with school friends, and re-visit landmarks like "the biggest slide in the whole world."

The kids soon convince him that they want to see the old hometown, catch up with school friends, and re-visit landmarks like “the biggest slide in the whole world.”

One can travel by air from New York to Terre Haute in about two hours–or five establishing shots.

Here's the plane.

We go from the plane…

...to bustling Terre Haute international...

…to bustling Terre Haute international…

...to this sign, whose appearance must have thrilled the Chamber of Commerce...

…to this sign, whose appearance must have pleased the Chamber of Commerce…

...to glamorous downtown Terre Haute...

…to glamorous downtown Terre Haute…

...to the suburbs...

…to the suburbs…

…before arriving at Aunt Fran’s rather grand house.

Buffy points out that this is a new house--not the one where she lived with Aunt Fran and spent her time getting locked in the closet by Uncle Harold.

Buffy points out that this is a new house–not the one where she lived with Aunt Fran.

The kids seem happy to see their aunt. The presence of Family Affair green in her house probably has a calming effect on them.

The kids seem happy to see their aunt. (The presence of Family Affair green in her house probably has a calming effect on them.)

Since it’s almost time for school to let out, Cissy heads off to the high school to surprise old friends, while the twins convince French to take them to their old kindergarten classroom.

Yes, Bill brought his man-servant along on this trip. His luggage isn't going to unpack itself, you know.

Yes, Bill brought his man-servant along on the trip. His luggage isn’t going to unpack itself, you know.

That leaves Bill alone with Aunt Fran, who promptly confesses that she’s sorry to see the kids looking so well-adjusted. Yep, that’s our Aunt Fran. It seems she has hopes of stealing them away. How has she progressed from ditching Buffy, to wanting the girls, to wanting all three kids? Beats me.

Uncle Bill looks uncomfortable, as anyone would in the presence of madness.

Uncle Bill just stands there looking uncomfortable.

When the kids return, they are bursting with excitement about their school visits. Cissy is anxious to get reacquainted with a boy named Harvey who has blossomed into a star athlete. Buffy and Jody saw their old kindergarten teacher, who gave them cookies.

(We get a good French-ism here: “I find it a matter of note that, in New York or Terre Haute, school cookies always seem to be oatmeal.”)

Out of the kids’ presence, Fran corners Bill and makes him promise that he will watch the kids over the next few days and consider whether they would be happier in Terre Haute.

VTS_01_5.VOB_000347046

The director seems to use some kind of soft-focus filter on Louise Latham’s close-ups, which are noticeably “blurrier” than any other shots.

The next day, Cissy heads off with Harvey to explore her old stomping grounds.

She acts surprised every time she remembers something, as if it is a feat for teenager to remember a place where she lived less than two years before.

She acts surprised every time she remembers something, as if it is a feat for teenager to remember a place where she lived less than two years before.

Harvey remarks on how she has changed since leaving Indiana–she’s now a sophisticated New York woman. He asks her to join him for the junior dance, but it’s more than two weeks away. Cissy says she can’t stay that long, and she doubts Uncle Bill will let her fly back alone for the dance.

He wants her to join him for the junior prom, but it's more than two weeks away.

Wearing his default expression of puzzlement, Harvey observes that Bill must be strict.

No, Cissy replies. He just cares about her and the twins.

Cut to the twins themselves, who are showing French their old playground and that huge slide they remembered.

Sometimes our memories play tricks on us.

“If you leave a slide out in the rain, can it shrink?” Jody asks, leaving French to explain that the slide just seems smaller since the twins have grown.

Back at home, the ever-gracious Uncle Harold is grumbling about grocery prices.

VTS_01_5.VOB_000626292

He says he can remember when he couldn’t carry all the bread that thirty cents could buy. Sure doesn’t sound like a guy who’d want to add three extra mouths to his household.

Cissy asks Bill about flying back for the dance. He says no, as she expected. Aunt Fran knows an opportunity when she sees one, though.

She suggests that all the kids stay with her until the dance.

She suggests that all the kids stay with her until the dance.

The kids can attend their old schools, she says, and French and Uncle Bill can have a break.

Uh-oh. You'd think by now Bill would know how that kind of talk affects the kids. He agrees to consider the plan, though.

Uh-oh. You’d think by now Bill would know how that kind of talk affects the kids. He agrees to consider the plan, though.

That night, fear of abandonment keeps all the kids up and drives Jody into the girls’ bed. The next morning, at the breakfast table, a breakthrough occurs: The kids tell Bill their worries, and he assuages them. (This is so much better than another round of misunderstandings about whether Bill wants to keep them and whether they want to stay with him.)

Random breakfast observations: Fran looks even creepier in an apron. Also, Bill is wearing the same shirt he wore the day before.

Random breakfast observations: Fran looks even creepier when she wears an apron. Also, Bill is wearing the same shirt he wore the day before.

Bill tells Fran that he and the kids will be leaving on Sunday after the family reunion. As it turns out, even that isn’t soon enough, as bad memories begin to plague the kids.

Harvey and Cissy visit a local lake and she remarks on its beauty.

Harvey scrunches up his face in confusion once again and wonders what's so beautiful about it.

Harvey scrunches up his face in confusion once again and wonders what’s so beautiful about it.

Cissy grows wistful as she remembers picnics at the lake with her parents in the years before Buffy and Jody were born.

Kathy Garver does a good job expressing genuine emotion in this scene.

Kathy Garver does a good job expressing genuine emotion in this scene.

Meanwhile, French is taking the kids for a walk down memory lane. (You’d think Uncle Bill, who anticipated that the kids might find their visit to Terre Haute traumatic, would spend time with them himself. Hell, you’d think he’d do it just to avoid being alone with Fran.)

First they stop outside a drug store and remember going there for ice cream with their parents.

First they stop outside a drug store and remember going there for ice cream with their parents.

Then they stop outside the very toy store where Buffy got Mrs. Beasley. (As French jokes, it should be marked with a plaque.) She remembers walking down the street with her mother, who spied the doll and thought it was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. She took Buffy into the store and bought her the doll on the spot.

"It was the last thing..." Buffy says. "The very last thing..."

“It was the last thing…” Buffy says. “The very last thing…”

Outside the barber shop, Jody remembers getting his hair cut side-by-side with his dad, who would joke that Jody might need a shave in a few weeks.

More acting props: Sebastian Cabot reactions to the kids are perfect here--tender, but maintaining French's normal restraint.

More acting props: Sebastian Cabot’s reactions to the kids are perfect here–tender, while maintaining French’s characteristic restraint.

The twins decide they’ve seen enough of Terre Haute and ask French to take them back to the house.

Later, the kids beg Bill to take them home right away, and he agrees.

Later, the kids beg Bill to take them home right away, and he agrees.

Sadly, we don’t get to see Aunt Fran’s reaction to their departure. Or that of Head-Wrinkle Harvey.

Back at home, the twins are happy that their respective pets are still alive.

Back at home, the twins are happy that their respective pets are still alive.

And Bill, relieved that the whole ordeal is over, is eager for the drink that French promises to fix him.

Commentary

This episode exudes the underlying sadness that makes Family Affair so unusual. Many shows of that era featured kids who had lost a parent and then promptly forgotten that parent ever existed. I love the fact that Family Affair revisited the kids’ grief every so often. The twins’ walk with French is especially moving and well scripted, with a realistic amount of detail surrounding each memory.

Guest Cast

Fran Higer: Louise Latham. Harold Higer: Bill Zuckert. Harvey: Jim Henaghan.

Sadly, this was Latham’s last appearance as the aunt we love to hate. They should have brought her back once a year. By season five, she could have escalated to building a bunker prison for the kids in her basement.

Fun Facts

The kids’ mother had a beautiful singing voice. Buffy has a goldfish.

Continuity Notes

The entire episode refers back to the show’s origin. Also, Jody’s turtle gets another shout-out–Scotty fed it while the family was out of town.

Notable Quotes

“When you come back, you remember all the little things you thought you’d forgotten, but you haven’t…you really haven’t.”–Cissy

 A Pronunciation Digression: Terre What?

Terre Haute is pronounced Terre Hote–except on Family Affair. In early episodes, most of the actors pronounce it correctly, but Brian Keith calls it Terre Hut. By the episode, everyone was using that pronunciation. In his memoir, Family Affair Production Supervisor John G. Stephens relates a conversation he had with Brian Keith about this issue:

During the filming, Brian keeps pronouncing the town’s name “Terre Hut.” We try to get him to pronounce the name correctly. He’ll have nothing to do with that. “I’ll call it Terre Hut whether you like it or not.”

After the show airs, we receive a number of letters from Terre Haute, complaining about Brian’s pronunciation. We show him the letters, and he just says, “What the fuck do they know?”

“They live there!”

“Ah, screw ’em.”

 

 

Old-Time Radio Playlist: Vacation Time, Part 1

Summer is drawing to a close, and schools are up and running in many areas. If it’s too late for you to take a vacation, you can at least enjoy virtual travel through the magic of old-time radio.

Kew_Beach_Toronto_1934Papa Wants a Vacation”
Mama Bloom’s Brood
, Unknown Date, 1934


“All work and no play makes Jake a dull boy.”
About Mama Bloom’s Brood: This pleasant 15-minute comedy serial focuses on a Jewish family with two grown daughters.
Story: Papa doesn’t want a vacation, until Mama works on him.
Destination: Yellowstone National Park.
Wish you were there? Sure, if you can tolerate Mama’s malapropisms.

“Beach House”
Baby Snooks, May 19, 1938


“A daybed’s a sofa that’s made up at night as a bed, and during the day it’s a couch, which nobody sleeps on, so a daybed is really a night bed except it’s not a bed at all.”
About Baby Snooks: Throughout the late 1930s and early 1940s, Fanny Brice played her famous Snooks character in variety show sketches like this one.
Story: Snooks wreaks havoc on the family’s vacation home.
Destination: The seashore, to Daddy’s chagrin.
Wish you were there? With Snooks? No way! She does $400 in damage at the vacation rental. That’s more than $6,000 in today’s money!

“Vacation from a Vacation”
Vic and Sade, August 15, 1944


“It’s the hot weather, as much as anything.”
Story: Uncle Fletcher is driving Sade crazy on his “vacation” at her home.
Destination: Three blocks away.
Wish You Were There? Maybe—but you’d probably need a vacation from Uncle Fletcher before long.

“Going to Grass Lake”
The Great Gildersleeve, September 2, 1945


“Why, I could be busy every minute if I wanted to…I just don’t want to.”
Story: The kids try to talk a reluctant Gildy into a weekend at the lake.
Historical Footnotes: The references to the war’s end and reconversion to a peacetime economy are interesting.
Destination: Grass Lake, obviously.
Wish You Were There?
Only if you have a burning desire to share Judge Hooker’s bed in a honeymoon cottage.

“Morgan Vacation Travel Bureau”
Henry Morgan, May 28, 1947


“Their slogan is, “Fellows are rarin’ to go on lovely Lake Schmoe.”
Story: In a series of sketches, the travel bureau one is the highlight.
About Henry Morgan: Morgan was edgy and irreverent by the standards of his time, and he drove sponsors crazy by making fun of their products.
Destination
: Lovely Camp Schmoe.
Wish You Were There? Sure–you get a great “cherce” of activities. I’d avoid the snake hunt, though.
Bonus Feature: In their tone, Morgan’s shows have always reminded me of early David Letterman, so I was excited to find this 1982 clip of Letterman interviewing Morgan.

Other Old-Time Radio playlists you might enjoy:

Halloween, Part 1

Halloween, Part 2

London Calling, Part 1

Spin Again Sunday: New Adventures of Gilligan Game (1974)

gilligan box

Today’s Game: The New Adventures of Gilligan Game

Manufactured by: Milton Bradley

Copyright Date: 1974

Game Box: Eye-catching in lime green, with all the characters represented in cartoon form. I don’t know what made cartoon Ginger’s hair go white, but I imagine life with Gilligan includes many shocking experiences.

gilligan boardGame Board: Milton Bradley called this a “set-up and play” game. It doesn’t have a board, per se; a cardboard box insert serves that function. Some of the island’s topographical features fit into the insert, giving the game a 3-D look. This adds a bit of visual interest to what is a very basic game.

Recommended Ages: The box says 6 to 12, but I can’t imagine any over 8 enjoying this—or the cartoon, for that matter.

Object: Be first back to the hut.

Game Pieces: Standard plastic pawns.

gilligan board closeupGame Play: You just move your pawn around the “island,” according to your roll of the die. If you roll a six or land on a red space, you take a yellow card and follow its rhyming instructions—for example, “My-o My-o Me/You Can Go Ahead 3.”

Background: This game was not based upon the classic 1960s sitcom but upon the less-than-classic 1970s Filmation cartoon. This cartoon’s only real virtue was that it featured voices from five of the original sitcom cast members.

Other Spin Again Sunday posts you might enjoy:

Planet of the Apes Game

The Muppet Show Game

H.R. Pufnstuf Game

Family Affair Friday: Season 2, Episode 15, “Best of Breed,” 12/25/1967

Can you believe that networks used to air new episodes on Christmas night? This one isn’t even holiday-themed, although it does score high on the heart-warming scale.

Written by: Ed James. Directed by: Charles Barton.

Synopsis

Coming home from school, Buffy and Jody realize they have a stalker.

This little guy has followed them home.

This little guy has followed them home.

The twins want to take him inside, of course, but the building has a no-dogs rule.

Jody comes up with a quick solution to that problem--the rule won't apply if no one sees him going in.

Jody comes up with a quick solution to that problem–the rule won’t apply if no one sees him going in.

Buffy knows that even if they make it their apartment with the dog, they’ll still face a formidable obstacle–Mr. French.

The dog is dirty, and Mr. French doesn't like dirt.

The dog is dirty, and Mr. French doesn’t like dirt.

Undeterred, Jody wraps the dog in his jacket.

Scotty's distracted, so the kids manage to get the dog past him.

Scotty’s distracted, so the kids manage to get their bundle past him.

Upstairs, they sneak past French and head straight for the luxurious Davis bathtub. After the dog’s bath, Buffy observes, he will smell good and everyone will like him better.

VTS_01_3.VOB_000902808

Jody: “Better than what?”
Buffy: “Better than if he didn’t smell good.”

Unfortunately, the dog escapes from tub before his bath is over. He heads straight for the living room and a close encounter of the French kind.

French accepts the dog's presence with the equanimity we've come to expect from him.

French accepts the dog’s presence with the equanimity we’ve come to expect from him.

“You will capture it and evict it post-haste,” he orders. Meanwhile the dog–which the kids have given the very creative name “Puppy”–is holed up in a cupboard.

Aww. I'm more of a cat person, but he is a cute little guy.

Aww. I’m more of a cat person, but he is a cute little guy.

Uncle Bill arrives on the scene, and the twins lobby to keep the dog.

Bill says his lease forbids dogs, so Puppy has to go.

Bill says his lease forbids dogs, so Puppy has to go.

When the kids point out that an upstairs neighbor has a French poodle, Mr. French explains that dog is a champion with an impeccable pedigree. As a good, red-blooded American, Bill objects to dog snobbery, but he doesn’t feel he can challenge apartment policy.

French is tasked with removing the dog, and his body language in this scene is an episode highlight.

French is tasked with removing the dog, and his body language in this scene is an episode highlight.

Puppy gets the last laugh, though.

He follows French back into the building, the elevator, and apartment.

He sneaks back into the building, the elevator, and apartment under the nose of an implausibly oblivious French.

Meanwhile, in a threadbare subplot, Cissy is dealing with snobbery, too. A high school social club, the Marvels, has selected her for membership. They won’t accept her underprivileged friend Ingrid, though.

Ingrid's mother--gasp!--takes in laundry. That explains why Ingrid looks so ashamed.

Ingrid’s mother–gasp!–takes in laundry.

Cissy complains to Uncle Bill about the Marvels. As a social club, he says, they have a right to accept or reject people as they please. He admires Cissy’s conviction, however.

Perhaps that's why his attitude toward Puppy softens when he realizes the dog has returned.

Perhaps that’s why his attitude toward Puppy softens when he realizes the dog has returned.

He agrees to approach the apartment manager about keeping the dog and to let the kids entertain Puppy in the meantime.

Taking their friend for a walk, the kids meet up with the building's French poodle.

Taking their friend for a walk, the kids meet up with the building’s French poodle.

The snooty kid walking the poodle says his name is Monsieur Cherbourg and he has earned 12 blue ribbons. He also responds to French commands.

The kids still don’t understand why Monsieur Cherbourg has a higher status than Puppy. French decides that taking them to a dog show will enlighten them on the importance of good breeding.

What follows is a tedious display of dog show stock footage.

What follows is a tedious montage of dog show stock footage.

The kids aren’t impressed, but the experience does inspire them to teach Puppy a few tricks.

Their approach is to demonstrate sitting and lying down for Puppy.

Their approach is to demonstrate sitting and lying down for Puppy.

They have limited success, but it doesn’t really matter. They return home only to learn from Uncle Bill that the apartment manager has vetoed Puppy as a tenant.

Bill promises to find a good home for Puppy.

Bill promises to find a good home for Puppy.

Once again, though, Cissy’s example gives him a change of heart.

She has invited several friends home--all Marvels rejects. They've decided to start their own club.

She has invited several friends home–all Marvels rejects. They’ve decided to start their own club.

Bill gets his secretary on the phone and tells her to make arrangements for him to host a dog show in the park. (I’ll bet that assignment made her day.) This dog show will welcome non-pedigreed pups, and real kennel club judges will preside.

All these dogs and kids must have made for a fun day for Anissa Jones and Johnnie Whitaker--and a long day for director Charles Barton.

Director Charles Barton must have loved dealing with all these dogs and kids on the set.

At the show, Bill tells French that he’s hoping Puppy will win a prize, which will give Bill more leverage with the apartment manager. French is surprised that Bill didn’t fix the contest outright.

Puppy succeeds on his own merits, though, winning Best of Breed in the Schnauzer/Poodle/Pekinese/Chihuahua categories and the overall championship.

Puppy succeeds on his own merits, though, winning Best of Breed in the Schnauzer/Poodle/Pekinese/Chihuahua categories and the overall championship.

French wonders why Puppy won in three categories (four, actually), then laughs when he realizes that Puppy is “a little bit of each.”

Returning to the apartment building, the kids inform Snooty Poodle Girl that Puppy is a champion.

Her mind is completely blown.

Her mind is completely blown.

Next, the family confronts the apartment manager. When he tries to differentiate between Puppy’s champion status and the poodle’s, Bill dares him to explain the difference to the kids.

Showing the weak will that plague his marriage to Harriet Oleson, the apartment manager caves.

Showing the weak will that plague his marriage to Harriet Oleson, the apartment manager caves.

(He’ll soon have his hands full dealing with other tenants’ ersatz pet show winners, I suspect.)

Buffy and Jody are thrilled that they get to keep Puppy.

The episode ends by driving home the point that all dogs are the same under the fur.

VTS_01_4.VOB_000970653

Together, Puppy and Monsieur Cherbourd bark at a cat they spy through the lobby windows.

Commentary

This episode isn’t deep, but it has plenty of cuteness going on. The disturbing thing is that we will never see Puppy again. Best case scenario: He went to live in Connecticut with Rosie the horse. Worse case scenario: He took a Mrs.-Beasley-style swan dive off the terrace.

Continuity Notes

We get a Scotty sighting and a Miss Lee mention.

Guest Cast

Lewis: Richard Bull. Girl: Kym Karath. Mrs. Hobson: Gerry Lock. Scotty: Karl Lukas. Judge: Larry Thor. Ingrid: Terry Burnham.

Bull is best known for playing the beleaguered Nels Oleson on Little House on the Prairie.

Karath makes her second of three Family Affair appearances.

Lock kept acting at least through the early 2000s, mostly in parts like “Old Woman” and “Little Old Lady.”

This Week’s Bonus Feature

This week, I’m presenting another Family Affair collectible–a lunchbox from 1969, manufactured by King Seeley Thermos.

The front of the lunchbox features a birthday party scene. The party, with balloons, cake, and presents, is for Mrs. Beasley. That's not weird at all.

The front of the lunchbox features a birthday party scene. The party–with balloons, cake, and presents–is for Mrs. Beasley. That’s not weird at all.

The thermos displays the same scene.

The thermos displays the same scene.

The reverse side of the lunchbox shows Buffy and Jody playing in the park.

The reverse side of the lunchbox shows Buffy and Jody playing in the park. The picnickers in the background are probably Cissy and Uncle Bill, although the male figure isn’t remotely recognizable.

One side of the box shows Buffy, Mrs. Beasley, and Uncle Bill.

One side of the box shows Buffy, Mrs. Beasley, and Uncle Bill.

The bottom shows Buffy and Jody.

The bottom shows Buffy and Jody–hanging out under a bed?

This side is the worst. Buffy looks like a transvestite midget, and Cissy looks crazed. Worst of all, it reminds me of their musical number from two weeks ago.

This side is the worst. Buffy looks like a transvestite midget, and Cissy looks crazed. Worst of all, it reminds me of their musical number from two weeks ago.

One-Year Blog Anniversary

“Memory’s a freakish bank/

Where embarrassing treasures/

Still draw interest

Marge Piercy

When I published my first post on this blog one year ago, I talked about the sudden thrill a remembered moment can provide.

I’d hoped to inspire nostalgic recollections from my readers, and I have been so pleased and honored by your responses. To all my commenters, especially those who write regularly, I offer my deepest thanks. Reflecting on how thoughtful and encouraging you have been this year makes me as misty-eyed as Uncle Bill in a violin-drenched scene with Buffy and Jody.

Over the past year, I’ve learned many things:

  • If you write a blog post that involves a father spanking his grown daughter, you are sure to get at least one hit a day on that post, from someone who probably ends up quite disappointed.
  • Blogging is a continual learning experience. For instance, it took me about 50 weeks to figure out what “pingbacks” are.
  • Blogging is hard work. My appreciation for my favorite bloggers (like those on my Treasured Links page) has soared as I realized the effort they make, week after week.

You know the expression, “His eyes are bigger than his stomach”? Well, when it comes to blogging, my ideas far outpace my available time. There’s a positive side to that, though—it means I still have a lot that I’m bursting to share with you in the months ahead.

To make sure you don’t miss any upcoming goodness, you can connect with Embarrassing Treasures in several ways:

  • Follow me on Twitter.
  • Like Embarrassing Treasures on Facebook. I’ve recently started to post some fun Facebook-specific content.
  • Follow my Pinterest boards, which are pretty darn awesome, especially Classic Television Images, Classic Movies, Vintage Toys, and Retro Fabulousness. I pin when I’m tired, bored, or stressed, so I pin a lot—enough that I’ve already attracted more than 2,000 followers.
  • Add me to your circle on Google+. (Disclaimer: I’m still learning my way around there.)
  • Get blog updates by e-mail, using the button at left.

If you have any suggestions for future blog content, or ideas for improving the reading experience, please let me know.

Thank you again for your support!

Family Affair Friday(ish): Season 2, Episode 14, “Star Dust,” 12/18/1967

For once, being a day late with this feature actually serves a purpose–it allows us to celebrate the birthday of this week’s beautiful guest star, Martha Hyer.

She is 89 today!

She is 89 today!

So, yeah, I totally planned this week’s lateness. And, incidentally, I look just like Martha Hyer does in this episode. Trust me.

Written by: Roy Kammerman. Directed by: Charles Barton.

Synopsis

It’s bedtime, and the twins want to hear a story. Uncle Bill’s attending a party so the task falls to Mr. French.

The kids say it will be good practice for French, in case he ever becomes an uncle.

The kids say it will be good practice for French, in case he ever becomes an uncle.

Actually, he is an uncle. That was a Nigel French episode, though, and the twins might not realize that his nephew would be Giles French’s nephew, too.

He suggests a chapter of Winnie the Pooh.

French suggests a chapter of Winnie the Pooh. (The show’s frequent Pooh references are in-jokes, since Sebastian Cabot began narrating Pooh features in 1966.)

The kids ask for Jack and the Beanstalk instead, and French puts his unique stamp on the story. When Uncle Bill returns, the kids ask him to take over.

He tries, but Cissy keeps interrupting to hear details of the party he attended.

He tries, but Cissy keeps interrupting to hear details of the party he attended.

Bills says the guest list included several senators, a Nobel laureate, a famous explorer–and a movie star.

Guess which one Cissy wants to hear about.

Guess which one Cissy wants to hear about.

The movie star was Carol Haven, who happens to call at this moment to invite Bill to dinner the next evening.

Cissy can't believe Bill is so calm about this invitation from "the most beautiful woman in the whole world."

Cissy can’t believe Bill is so calm about this invitation from “the most beautiful woman in the whole world.”

For their part, the twins don’t know who Carol Haven is. They don’t know who Thomas Edison is either. (Buffy makes a good point–if Thomas Edison is so important, why isn’t his birthday a school holiday?)

At dinner the next evening, Carol says she wants to get to know Bill better.

At dinner the next evening, Carol makes it clear that she wants to get to know Bill.

He’s made quite an impression on her–she says the last time she called a man she just met was in junior high. (According to the old teen advice books I review on this site, that means she was a hussy in junior high.)

Dinner is interrupted a few times by fans requesting autographs and sending champagne, as well as a photographer who takes a picture of Bill and Carol. Carol handles these people in a calm and gracious way.

Bill is uncomfortable, though--he'd apparently like her to go all Sean Penn on them.

Bill is uncomfortable, though–he’d apparently like her to go all Sean Penn on them.

He asks why she doesn’t disguise her appearance, and she replies that she’s worked hard to be recognized. He suggests that they have their next date at a place with gourmet food and absolute privacy–his apartment.

The next night finds Cissy in a tizzy--she can't do a thing with her hair.

The next night finds Cissy in a tizzy–she can’t do a thing with her hair. (Cissy is wearing one of those quilted robes that every ’60s and ’70s girl had.)

Even French is excited about their guest’s impending visit–he’s wearing white tie and tails!

Even French is excited--he's wearing tails! He looks cute, like an emperor penguin.

He looks cute, like an emperor penguin.

When Carol appears, she puts everyone at ease.

When Carol appears, she quickly puts everyone at ease--even Cissy, who's still standing around in her robe.

Even Cissy, who’s still standing around in her robe. Get dressed, girl!

How wonderfully well does Carol fit in with the Davis family? Let us count the ways:

She offers to help Cissy with her hair and ends up helping the teen feel good about her usual hairstyle.

She offers to help Cissy with her hair and ends up helping the teen feel good about her usual hairstyle.

She isn't afraid to embarrass herself while playing charades.

She isn’t afraid to embarrass herself while playing charades.

She tells the twins a bedtime story and includes Mrs. Beasley in the story as a friend, not a doll.

She tells the twins a bedtime story and includes Mrs. Beasley in the story as a friend, not a doll.

This earns her the first kiss Mrs. Beasley has bestowed upon a grown-up, excluding Bill and French.

By the end of the evening, Jody is asking Cissy if their mother looked like Carol. (Silly boy–we’ll find out later that she looked like June Lockhart.)

She didn't, Cissy replies--but she was just as nice.

She didn’t, Cissy replies–but she was just as nice.

If you notice anyone missing from these charming tableaux, you might have a clue about where this episode is heading.

Soon, word gets around that Carol and Bill are dating.

French's nanny friends grill him: What does she look like without makeup? And what are Bill's intentions toward her?

French’s nanny friends grill him: What does she look like without makeup? And what are Bill’s intentions toward her?

French is appalled: “The relationship of gentleman’s gentleman to master is as confidential as that of lawyer to client.”

A reporter also tries to pump him for information, promising him personal publicity.

A reporter also tries to pump him for information, promising him personal publicity.

French says that a gentleman’s name should only appear in the paper three times: When is born, when he marries, and when he dies. “I’ve already done the first and contemplate neither the second nor the third,” he says.

(I’ve always heard that old newspaper rule applied to women–men are allowed to have newsworthy accomplishments. Maybe gentlemen’s gentlemen aren’t, though.)

Back at home, we learn that Carol has taken Buffy and Jody to the zoo. Buffy asks Bill if he plans to marry Carol.

"Women do know about these things," Buffy says, when Bill expresses surprise at the question.

“Women do know about these things,” Buffy says, when Bill expresses surprise at the question.

Both twins say they would like him to marry her, even if it means moving to Hollywood. Bill assures them that no wife of his will have a career.

"The lady is not gonna live in Hollywood and not gonna be a star in the movies. She's gonna be a wife to me and a mother to you."

“The lady is not going to live in Hollywood and not going to be a star in the movies. She’s gonna be a wife to me and a mother to you.”

I think I got that quote right, but it was hard to hear over the sound of my own gagging. Apparently, having two working parents is much worse for children than having a single parent who works.

Soon, the kids have another fun outing with Carol. They celebrate "nobody's birthday" with a shopping trip.

Soon, the kids have another fun outing with Carol. They celebrate “nobody’s birthday” with a shopping trip.

Jody talks about riding the “alligators,” meaning escalators. (Sometimes I worry about Jody.)

Just when everyone is so happy, a dark cloud appears on the horizon. Carol’s been offered the plum role of St. Joan in a movie filming in Spain. If she takes it, she’ll be gone for a year. (It must be quite an epic.)

The next night, Carol tells her unhappy agent to turn the role down.

The next night, Carol tells her shocked agent to turn the role down.

She’s found something more important, she says–something she’s been looking for her whole life.

When Bill arrives and hears her plans, he wonders if she can adjust to normal life. Can she deal with life's "petty annoyances" without agents and handlers?

When Bill arrives and hears her plans, he wonders if she can adjust to non-stardom. Can she deal with life’s “petty annoyances” without agents and handlers?

Hmm, petty annoyances? Like packing your own suitcase, cooking your own dinners, taking your own children to school? Tell us how you deal with those petty annoyances, Bill.

VTS_01_3.VOB_000355021

Taken aback, Carol suddenly realizes that she’s been doing all the pursuing in this relationship.

“The whole Davis family fell in love with you, that’s for sure,” Bill says, glossing over his own feelings.

He encourages a crestfallen Carol to go to Spain. The Davis family will wait for her and then–well, we’ll see…

Carol wishes she had a screenwriter to help her make this scene come out right.

“Maybe that’s because what you had in mind was a scene, not just two ordinary people talking,” Bill replies. Ouch.

We flash forward a bit, and the kids have received a package from Carol in Spain.

We flash forward a bit and see the kids have received a package from Carol in Spain.

Carol has included a clipping for Bill–it says she’s signed to a new three-year contract. Her next picture will be Mama Wore Spangles.

Everyone looks sad, and French expresses his condolences to Bill.

Buffy doesn't think it's entirely sad--at least Carol will have the chance to "play mama" again.

Buffy finds a bright spot–at least Carol will get the chance to “play mama” again.

“Sure, play acting is fun,” Bill agrees.

"As long as everybody knows you're play acting."

“As long as everybody knows you’re play acting.”

Commentary

This is a very good episode, with a lot at stake for all the characters.

It also leave more room for interpretation than most episodes.

Trying to figure out Bill's motivations made me as confused as Carol looks here.

Trying to figure out Bill’s motivations made me as confused as Carol looks here.

His comments about “scenes” and “play acting” suggest that he doubts Carol’s long-term intentions. Is her decision to keep acting supposed to make us think his suspicions have been confirmed? If so, it doesn’t work for me. She seemed sincere in her desire to quit acting until he hurt her with a lukewarm response.

Was he ever really serious about Carol? Keith’s laconic performance doesn’t provide many clues.

Was he just too traditional to handle a woman pursuing him? Would marriage to a woman with her own career interests be uncomfortable for him?

Or was Carol overly interested in the “instant family–just add love” aspect of their relationship? (Yes, she actually uses that phrase.)

I am very interested to hear what my readers have to say.

A few other random observations:

  • When Carol joins them for dinner, after Bill escorts her to the table, Jody does the same with Buffy.
When Carol joins them for dinner, after Bill escorts her to the table, Jody does the same with Buffy. This is a cute little moment.

This is a cute little moment.

  • French really seems to enjoy charades.
This might be another in-joke, based on Cabot's two-year Stump the Stars stint.

This might be another in-joke, based on Cabot’s two-year Stump the Stars stint.

  • Carol’s bedtime story features French as a friendly giant who considers the kids his masters. Buffy thinks this is appropriate, since French sometimes calls her brother “Master Jody.”

Guest Cast

Carol Haven: Martha Hyer. Photographer: Ray Ballard. Woman: Helen Eby-Rock. Myron Fox: John Howard. Reporter: Grace Lenard. First Nanny: Gwen Watts Jones. Second Nanny: Nora Marlowe. Hyer was quite a successful film actress with important roles in such films as Battle Hymn, Houseboat, The Best of Everything, and The Sons of Katie Elder. In 1958, She received an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress in Some Came Running and was considered for the role of Marion Crane in Psycho. During that period in her life, she lived in a drool-worthy Hollywood hills home. (Also check out this sumptuous Life 1959 spread.) At the time of her Family Affair appearance, she had recently married producer Hal B. Wallis; they would remain together until his death in 1986.

John Howard

John Howard

Howard also had a long film career that included roles in Lost Horizon and The Philadelphia Story. He had a recurring role as Dave Welch on Don Fedderson’s other show, My Three Sons. After retiring from acting, he taught English at Highland Hall Waldorf School for 20 years. (Famous alumni include Mackenzie Phillips. I bet she was a joy to have in class.)

Lenard had an uncredited role in Abbott and Costello Go to Mars, in which Hyer appeared. Marlowe had small parts in films ranging from An Affair to Remember to Kitten with a Whip and a recurring role as Flossie on The Waltons. Gwen Watts Jones is a minor mystery, with no IMDb entry.

Continuity Notes

Jody’s sometimes-dead, sometimes-living turtle gets a mention. So does the kids’ mother (who’s always dead).

Notable Quotes

“Whenever you hear someone say, ‘They lived happily ever after,’ it’s the end.”–Buffy

Final Thought

If you haven’t already done so, make sure you check out the recent Family Affair post on Silver Scenes. It has some good comments about this episode.

Old-Time Radio Playlist: Summer, Part 2

Source: Wikipedia

Source: Wikipedia

In the second part of this old-time radio playlist, we find that summer can teach us more important lessons.

Heat Wave”
Our Miss Brooks,
August 7, 1949


“Believe me, Walter, going to see Mr. Boynton is no way for me to cool off.”
Lesson Learned: When it’s really hot, wacky scheming may not be the best way to conserve your energy.
My Verdict: This show is always worth a listen. Mr. Conklin here reaches levels of indignation that test even Gale Gordon’s considerable powers of indignation-expression.

“Beautiful Summer in Newport”
NBC Short Story, April 18, 1951


“Fraulein beats me.”
Based Upon: A story by Felicia Gizycka, whose own incredible story included being kidnapped by her father, a Polish count.
Lesson Learned: Vet your summer child care providers very carefully.
Notable Performers: Anne Whitfield, a busy child actress in radio, plays the lead role. If you’re like me, you know her best as Susan, the general’s niece, in the movie White Christmas.
My Verdict: This story has some disturbing scenes, as a governess hired by a social-climbing aunt abuses the woman’s young nieces. Hey, announcer: You didn’t really have to tell us that the word “Beautiful” is used ironically.

“Summer and Smoke”
Best Plays, May 22, 1953


“He told me about the wonderful talks he had with you last summer, when he was so mixed up.”
Based Upon: The 1948 play by Tennessee Williams.
Lesson Learned: Try to avoid being a character in a Tennessee Williams play.
About Best Plays: From 1952 to 1953, this show delivered just what its title promised, with notable stage actors in its cast.
Notable Performers: Geraldine Page plays frustrated, fragile Alma, as she did in the play’s highly successful 1952 New York revival. Page also played the role in the 1961 movie, earning an Academy Award nomination. Richard Kiley, who plays John, created the role of Don Quixote in the 1965 musical Man of La Mancha.
My Verdict: Page’s performance is outstanding—its preservation for us is one of the wonders of old-time radio.
Bonus Feature: Here’s the theatrical trailer for the movie.

“Summer Replacement”
Family Theater, December 1, 1954


“I have a feeling the ‘defender of justice’ is in for a bad half-hour.”
Lesson Learned: Age and experience can triumph over youth and beauty in the world of entertainment. (Disclaimer: This lesson may not apply in real life.)
Notable Performers: Una Merkel plays a radio performer whose long-time role is given to a younger actress when the show transitions to TV. (In a coincidence involving our previous recording, Merkel appeared with Page in the movie Summer and Smoke, and she also earned an Oscar nomination.) Desi Arnaz hosts this episode of Family Theater.
My Verdict: This is a sprightly script, and Merkel conveys plenty of charm. I like the way her character wants to continue working even after landing a rich husband—and the husband is okay with that.

“Summer Song”
Romance, July 2, 1955


“I always forget the rules.”
Lesson Learned: Rich girls are easy.
About Romance: This dramatic anthology show ran in many different incarnations from 1943 to 1957. The 1950s episodes, produced by many of the same creative minds as Gunsmoke, are quite entertaining.
Story: Country club lifeguard Scott knows he shouldn’t fraternize with the guests, but seductive Dana makes his life difficult.
My Verdict: Dana is sexually aggressive to a shocking degree for a 1950s show. “Summer Skank” would be a more accurate title.

Other Old-Time Radio Playlists You Might Enjoy:

Summer, Part 1 (With Golden Age TV Bonus)

London Calling, Part 1

Christmas, Part 6