Welcome to another installment in my weekly Family Affair series. I’m sorry that it’s late. My husband had to use our laptop last night for actual work–the nerve!

Episode 16, “That Was the Dinner That Wasn’t,” 1/9/1967

Written by: Dorothy Cooper Foote. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

Something’s bothering Cissy. What could it be?

Oh. Ouch.

If being an orphan isn’t bad enough, she has the least tactful group of friends ever. This is only a slight paraphrase:

Friend 1: Is your mother coming to the dinner, Cissy? Oh…right, sorry.”

Friend 2: Don’t worry, we have a father-daughter dance in the spring! Oh…yeah, sorry.”

Cissy even has to listen as the girls complain about their own mothers.

And, to make matters worse, some of her sketches will be on display at this dinner she can’t attend. Did you know Cissy is an artist? Well, she is, as we’ll see shortly.

She hides the reason for her sadness from Uncle Bill, but he knows something is bothering her and wants to help. He spends a lot of time worrying and lamenting his lack of parenting skills. How concerned is he? On his one evening home between two business trips, he actually cancels a date to spend time with Cissy.

Actually, he makes French cancel his date. The woman in question, Maria Cantelli, doesn’t take it especially well.

As it turns out, Cissy has a date of her own, so Bill tries to mend fences with an unforgiving Miss Cantelli. God forbid he should spend his evening with Buffy and Jody. Hey, they’re not having a major emotional crisis this week.

Random fashion note: Cissy looks pretty in her green date dress.

The next day, as Bill prepares to head for the airport, he’s still clueless about what’s bothering Cissy. Even his suggestion of retail therapy doesn’t help. Cissy’s response is one that few teenage girls have ever uttered: “I have more clothes than I need.”

She’s so upset she doesn’t even touch this hearty meal French has prepared for her.

At the airport, he meets Miss Cantelli, who’s willing to make nice with him if he apologizes and joins her for dinner.

They should have saved this episode for St. Patrick’s Day. Green is everywhere.

Just then, however, he runs into Cissy’s friend Gail, who fills him in about the dinner.

My God, what’s that on Gail’s head? It’s not even the same color as the rest of her hair.

Bill quickly enlists French’s help to maneuver Cissy to the airport, where he spends some quality time with her without letting her know that he knows about the banquet.

Cissy is very impressed by this “fancy” airport restaurant.

They have a warm conversation, and at one point Uncle Bill offhandedly refers to her has his daughter, rather than his niece.

Cissy is so moved that she dashes off this sketch of Uncle Bill in about two minutes.

Watching this scene warms even the cold, cold heart of Maria Cantelli, who was angry about being rebuffed for a second time.

Commentary

This is another nice Cissy-Uncle Bill episode; the part where he calls her his daughter is especially touching. Occasionally, though, Kathy Garver’s admiring-niece portrayal strays uncomfortably close to girl-with-a-crush territory.

Feel the love.

Guest Cast

Patty: Elizabeth Bader. Maria Cantelli: Jacqueline Bertrand. Miss Lee: Betty Lynn. Gail: Diane Mountford. This is Mountford’s second of five appearances and Lynn’s second of four as Uncle Bill’s secretary.

Fun Facts

When Cissy was 12, she wanted to be a nurse.

Continuity Notes

This episode makes specific reference to the death of the kids’ parents.

Ted Gaynor gets a mention.

Random decor note: I like Uncle Bill’s sheets.

Notable Quotes

“If Cissy marries Freddy, will he be our brother or our uncle?” Buffy

Random twin image: Buffy and Mrs. Beasley, who are playing cowboys and Indians with Jody.

Today’s Bonus Feature

TV Guide, November 16, 1968

Welcome to the latest installment of my weekly Family Affair series!

Season 1, Episode 11, “Take Two Aspirin,” 11/28/1966

Written by: George Tibbles. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

The prospect of spending three months in New York makes Uncle Bill restless, both at home and at work.

Buffy and Jody spy on a jumpy Uncle Bill. Prominent here is the rarely seen Davis TV, rabbit ears and all. You might think that, like Chekhov’s gun, the TV will become important later. It doesn’t.

He jumps at the chance to work with his old friend Dave McCovey on a project in Mexico. Dave is building a pipeline, and three other engineers have disappointed him.

“You have to go around that shale,” Uncle Bill tells Dave. That’s the kind of engineering advice you can only get from Bill Davis (and only on site).

Besides respecting Bill’s engineering acumen, Dave also admires his friend’s attitude toward family. “You love ’em but you don’t get tied down,” Dave says, launching Bill into a tizzy of worry.

Meanwhile, at home, Cissy leaves to spend the weekend with a friend, and French comes down with the flu. Buffy and Jody do their best to take care of French, and you can imagine how that goes.

On a call home, Bill gathers that French is sick and that the twins are cooking. Understandably, he becomes alarmed. First grader Jody doesn’t even know the difference between the words “fly” and “flu.” These are definitely not kids who should be trusted near an oven.

French feels better after a nap–until he sees what Buffy and Jody have prepared for him.

Buffy’s “omelet”

Jody’s peanut butter sandwiches (laced with aspirin!)

French’s reaction.

After a quick swoon, French rallies enough to take the twins out for dinner. Cissy arrives home unexpectedly to an empty apartment and becomes alarmed. Uncle Bill picks that moment to phone home again, and his own nervousness increases.

Odd overreactions drive this episode. I’m fan-wanking that the sudden death of the kids’ parents left all the Davises with PTSD and hair-trigger nerves.

Uncle Bill does reach French later and finds out that he’s okay. While they’re talking, the twins break a vase in the hallway, and French announces that “the Ming” is gone. The phone line cuts out, and Bill’s left believing that the family has been robbed.

The “Ming”

Bill decides to head for home. By the time he arrives, of course, everything’s fine. He suggests a school composition topic for Cissy–the tricks that the imagination can play. (Cissy’s planned topic was long hair on men!)

My Thoughts

This rather choppy episode is not one of my favorites. Mr. French is at his irritable best sick in bed, though.

“Sloshing damp rags on a chap when he’s lying down–that’s not cricket.”–French after Jody awakens him by dropping a wet cloth on his head.

The twins’ attempts to cook are also funny.

Guest Cast

Dave McCovey: Norman Alden. Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard.

Norman Alden’s voice was perhaps more memorable than his face. He was a ubiquitous guest on 1960s and 1970s TV shows. Generation Xers like me might remember him as Polly’s father on My Three Sons, Frank Heflin on Electra Woman and Dyna Girl, or the voice of Aquaman on Superfriends. He died in July of this year.

Continuity Notes

Jody’s turtle gets a final mention–he dies while Uncle Bill is out of the country. (Previously referred to as Dinky, the turtle is called Alexander in this episode.) Scotty the doorman is mentioned but not seen. Uncle Bill’s service in Korea comes up again. (He contracted malaria, but he didn’t let it slow him down.)

Random Fashion Moment: The kids’ going-out-to-eat-on-a-rainy-day clothes are cute.

Today’s Bonus Feature
This article about Anissa Jones is from TV Radio Mirror, March 1967. It includes adorable publicity photos of Jones, Johnny Whitaker, and Sebastian Cabot on an outing at the Los Angeles Zoo.

Enjoy my whole Family Affair series!