Family Affair Friday(ish): Season 1, Episode 19, “Fancy Free,” 1/30/1967

Sorry that I’m late with my Family Affair series this week–I was busy with my own adorable moppet yesterday. (Boy, would she hate hearing herself described that way.)

Written by: Douglas Tibbles and John McGreevey. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

Coming home from school, Buffy and Jody announce proudly that they have been promoted to “upper first grade.”

Of course, "upper first grade" isn't really a thing. Their school seems to be using "lower first grade" as a way to orient a constant influx of new students--a realistic-sounding situation at an urban public school.

Of course, “upper first grade” isn’t really a thing. Their school seems to be using “lower first grade” as a way to orient a constant influx of new students–a realistic-sounding situation at an urban public school.

They are disappointed that Uncle Bill is not there to share their joy–he’s working on a project in New Jersey.

He's also working on this Jerseylicious babe, who's caring for her niece when Bill first meets her.

He’s also working on this Jerseylicious babe, who’s caring for her niece when Bill first meets her. She’s an aunt, he’s an uncle–what could go wrong?

Meanwhile, the twins exult in their new, advanced textbooks.

dick and jane

Buffy and Jody have a genuinely funny exchange about their reading books.
Buffy: “We got promoted from Dick and Jane, and I’m glad–all they ever did was run and play.”
Jody, in mildly mocking tone: “And watch Spot. ‘Oh, see Spot.'”
Buffy: “Oh, see Spot run.”
Jody: “Run, Spot, run.”
Jones and Whitaker seem to enjoy their chance to be snarky.

They soon find themselves stumped by “the new math,” however. Their engineer uncle could probably help them, but he’s spending all his time across the Hudson with Meg, who turns out to be a liberated, marriage-hating free spirit who has no interest in even hearing about the twins’ problems.

From this glamour shot of Meg, Uncle Bill correctly divines that she is an avid sailor. What it tells me is that she went to a cheesy portrait studio.

From this glamour shot of Meg, Uncle Bill correctly divines that she is an avid sailor. What it tells me is that she went to a cheesy portrait studio.

So where can Buffy and Jody turn for help?

Heeeeeere's Johnny!

Heeeeeere’s Johnny!

I would scream, too, kids, if that appeared outside my 27th floor bedroomwindow and OPENED it. The fact that he talked with Winnie the Pooh's voice would only make it more terrifying.

I would scream, too, kids, if that guy appeared outside my 27th-floor bedroom window and OPENED it. The fact that he talked with Winnie the Pooh’s voice would only make it more terrifying.

Actually, Buffy and Jody are squealing with delight at the sight of their “friend,” Mr. Frack, the window washer. Mr. Frack says things like, “The difference between dumb and smart is how much you know,” so viewers quickly perceive where he falls on the dumb-smart divide. Naive Buffy and Jody, however, accept his help with their math homework.

Uncle Bill's still

Uncle Bill’s still living it up with Meg (in a nightclub with Family-Affair green walls! Meg’s home has them, too!) and even plans to spend the weekend on a boat with her before he departs on a two-week work trip to the Yucatan. (Don’t worry about Meg’s virtue. The script takes pains to tell us that other people will be on the boat, too, and that the men and women will have separate sleeping quarters.)

The school alerts Uncle Bill to the deplorable state of the twins’ math homework, and while he’s looking for answers, he happens to run into their “tutor.”

New math or no, it doesn't take Uncle Bill long to put two and two together.

It doesn’t take Uncle Bill long to put two and two together. (Amazingly, this episode misses its chance to do a math joke like that.)

He relieves Mr. Frack of his “helper” role while sparing the man’s feelings.

Meg, already dressed in her sailor suit,

Meg, already dressed in her sailor suit, is sad to hear that Bill is cancelling their plans so he can spend the weekend helping Buffy and Jody with math.

He assures her they’ll get together again sometime. I’m glad he doesn’t blow her off completely, even though I think he should be looking for more of a Fraulein Maria and less of a Baroness Schraeder now that he has kids.

thrilled

The kids, of course, are almost pathetically happy to learn Uncle Bill will spend the weekend with them.

Commentary

This isn’t a great episode, but it has some high points. I love Buffy and Jody’s conversation about Dick and Jane. Mr. Frack and Meg are both interesting characters. I like the way this script shows that Bill’s priorities have changed without demonized Meg for having different priorities.
We also get another chance to see Brian Keith’s rapport with child actors.

I like the obviously improvisd tickle he gives this girl, who doesn't seem comfortable in front of the camera.

I like the obviously improvised tickle he gives this girl, who doesn’t seem comfortable in front of the camera.

We also get to see him save a scene with Buffy and Jody.

blocking 1

Johnny Whitaker has walked too far forward, blocking Anissa Jones, who has the next line.

blocking 2

Brian Keith quickly moves Whitaker out of the way.

blocking 3

He then covers up the push with an affection rub of Whitaker’s face.

Guest Cast

Mr. Frack: Sterling Holloway. Meg: Kipp Hamilton. Tim: Roy Roberts. Sally: Andrea Sacino. Holloway was the voice of Winnie the Pooh in many movies, including some that Sebastian Cabot narrated. He was also the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland, Roquefort in The Aristocrats, Kaa in The Jungle Book, Mr. Stork in Dumbo and Woodsy the Owl in many public service announcements. He had an extremely long career in films that spanned half a century and included such films as Meet John Doe and The Blue Bird. Notable was his role in 1945’s A Walk in the Sun. He also had a recurring role in The Adventures of Superman.

Hamilton’s most memorable TV guest appearance was as Pleasure O’Reilly in an episode of Bewitched. She seems to have quit acting shortly after this episode aired, around the time that her first husband died of a brain tumor.

Roberts also had a Bewitched connection–he played Darrin’s father. He had recurring roles in Petticoat Junction, Gunsmoke, The Lucy Show and The Beverly Hillbillies, among other shows.

Sacino was a voice in 1970’s special Santa Claus is Coming to Town. She appeared in several episodes of My Three Sons and had a regular role on a short-lived mid-sixties show called Many Happy Returns.

Fun Facts

Uncle Bill is an experienced sailor. Buffy and Jody are learning Spanish at school. (This is another nice touch of realism for a big city school. In West Virginia, the only Spanish we learned before 8th grade was what we could pick up on Sesame Street. On the plus side, I don’t think the “new math” ever found its way to us.)

Today’s Bonus Feature

TV Guide, October 1, 1966

This article describes Brian Keith’s unusual work schedule, which explains why Uncle Bill was away so frequently. (The article also reveals his early ambition to be a sailor and his problems with math–interesting in the context of this episode.)

Old-Time Radio Playlist: Christmas, Part 4

draft_lens18469959module153045519photo_1315346042ChildBedThis is the fourth part of my Christmas OTR playlist. I’ll be posting more episodes each Tuesday and Thursday until Christmas.

Read parts one, two, and three of my Christmas playlist.

Christmas Shopping”
Archie Andrews
, December 13, 1947

“How do I get into these things?”
Story: Pretty much every episode of this series could be summarized as “a misunderstanding that snowballs out of control.” This episode actually features several wild misunderstandings that collide at a Riverdale department store.
About Archie Andrews: This series was based on characters from Archie Comics. It obviously owes a lot to The Aldrich Family, too, though—Archie’s parents play a much bigger role in this series than they do in the comic books. Some characterizations differ from the comic books, too—this Jughead likes girls. This show is to The Aldrich Family, however, as a Disney channel sitcom is to a half-decent network family comedy. It must have succeeded with its intended audience; it ran in various forms and time slots from 1943 to 1953. The hyped-up kids in the studio audience certainly seemed to enjoy themselves.
Notable Performers: Bob Hastings, who plays Archie, went on to have a long career in television as a character actor and cartoon voice-over performer. He is the brother of Don Hastings, who played Dr. Bob Hughes on As the World Turns for half a century.
My Verdict
: I actually chuckled when I listened to this episode the first time, which is a rare experience for me with this series, or even with The Aldrich Family. My amusement stemmed from the way Veronica , and then the floorwalker, assessed Archie. Floorwalkers sure have a negative image in popular culture.

“The Cave”
Escape, December 24, 1950

“If I stepped out into that sunlight, I should never be able to find my way back again.”
Story: With a flashlight he received for Christmas, a young boy explores a cave and finds an enchanted world of pirates and fair maidens.
Notable Performers: John Dehner plays Dan, looking back on his experiences in the cave. Dehner was a gifted and prolific radio actor, whose work included starring roles in Have Gun, Will Travel and Frontier Gentleman and frequent appearances on Escape and Gunsmoke. He was also a ubiquitous character actor in television. Before I got into old-time radio, I knew him only from The Doris Day Show.
My Verdict: This episode has an appealing strangeness. I have a feeling that men might especially enjoy it—the fantasy world it conjures up feels distinctly masculine.

“Fibber Misplaces Christmas Money”

Fibber McGee and Molly, December 15, 1942
“And, furthermore, I’m the dumbest, short-sightedest, dim-wittedest, stumblebummedest, empty-headedest, feather-brainedest droop that ever didn’t know enough to come in out of a tornado.”
Story: The title sums it up.
Musical Notes: The King’s Men perform “White Christmas,” which wasn’t an old standard but a young hit in 1942. Bing Crosby’s recording first topped the Billboard charts in October and spent a total of 11 weeks in the top spot that year.
Interesting History: Rationing is a major theme, as it is in many wartime Fibber episodes. As John Dunning writes, “With the exception of The Bob Hope Show, Fibber McGee and Molly was the most patriotic show on the air.”
My Verdict: As someone with the “inattentive” form of ADHD, I feel for Fibber here, both in his forgetfulness and his self-recrimination. Wallace Wimple, who appears in this episode, is one of my favorite supporting characters.

“The Hanging Cross”

Have Gun, Will Travel, December 21, 1958
“Sentiments like peace, like goodwill, like love and brotherhood, they’re just words, unless you already know what they mean.”
Story: An unpleasant rancher reclaims his son from the Pawnee chief who has raised the boy as his own. Can Paladin help avert violence between the rancher’s party and the Pawnees?
About Have Gun, Will Travel: The most unusual thing about this series is that the radio version premiered after the television series became an established hit. The TV show ran from 1957 to 1963, while the radio show ran from 1958 to 1960.
Notable Performers: This show was a starring vehicle for John Dehner. (For more about him, see “The Cave,” above.)
My Verdict: Like the other CBS “adult Westerns,” Gunsmoke and Fort Laramie, this series often explored themes of tolerance. This story is involving, although the script does make Paladin a bit more preachy than one would expect a hired gunfighter to be.

“Christmas Present”

Tales of the Texas Rangers, December 24, 1950
“Merry Christmas, fellas. Merry Christmas…and God bless you.”
Story: A down-on-his-luck bystander almost takes the rap for bank robbery, until the Rangers clear his name and give his family a merry Christmas.
About Tales of the Texas Rangers: Running from 1950 to 1952, this was a police procedural series portraying the work of the legendary Texas investigative force.
Notable Performers: Film star Joel McCrea, best remembered for his work in Westerns, headlined this series.
My Verdict: This episode has a truly heartwarming ending.

Other old-time radio playlists you might enjoy:

Edgar Allan Poe, Part 1
Edgar Allan Poe, Part 2
Till Death Do Us Part (And That Might Be Sooner Than You Think)

Old-Time Radio Playlist: Christmas, Part 3

draft_lens18469959module153045563photo_1315359699JollyI’ve been sick the past two days, which has put me behind on my blogging schedule. This is the third part of my Christmas OTR playlist.

This week, Family Affair Friday will appear on Saturday.

Read part one and part two of my Christmas playlist.

“First Song—Let it Snow”

Dinah Shore Chevrolet Show, December 22, 1954

“First Song—Sleigh Ride”

Dinah Shore Chevrolet Show, December 24, 1954

“Even though the snow may be artificial out here in Hollywood, the sentiment isn’t at all.”

About the Dinah Shore Chevrolet Show: Popular singer Dinah Shore was a fixture on radio throughout the 1940s; according to the Digital Deli Too, she headlined six different shows. The television era brought her even greater fame. The Dinah Shore Show, sponsored by Chevrolet, premiered in 1951 as a 15-minute, twice-a-week program and became an instant hit. From 1953 to 1955, the Dinah Shore Chevrolet Show also aired on radio.
Musical Notes: Songs on the first show include “Let it Snow,” a Rodgers and Hammerstein song called “Happy Christmas, Little Friend,” and the pop standard “Teach Me Tonight.” The second show is all Christmas—besides “Sleigh Ride,” it includes “Silver Bells” and a medley of religious Christmas carols. (I wonder if Shore, who was Jewish, felt strange singing those.
My Verdict: I like the 15-minute length of these—it allows for several songs but limits the cheesy variety show comedy banter.

“’Twas the Night Before Christmas”

The Great Gildersleeve, December 24, 1944

“The only excuse for the kind of suffering that’s going on, all over the world, is if we can make sure it never happens again…Let’s sing the way we used to when we were at home together, and let’s hope that before so very long, all the peoples of the world will be able to join in with us.”
About The Great Gildersleeve: This show, built around a character first heard on Fibber McGee and Molly, was the first successful spinoff. It ran from 1941 to 1957.
Story: December 23rd finds Gildy blue. He’s expecting to be the subject of a breach of promise suit, and he thinks his frenemy Judge Hooker will be handling the case against him. When the judge tells him there’s no case, Gildy is finally ready to celebrate Christmas with family, friends, and his two favorite flames.
Musical Notes: The cast sings “Joy to the World,” then Harold Peary breaks, um, whatever you would call the fourth wall in radio, and invites the studio and radio audience to join in.
My Verdict: Maybe my sinus infection is making me sappy, but I got teary listening to the closing speech and song.

“Christmas Shopping for Perfume and a Necktie,” December 17, 1939

The Jack Benny Program

“You walked in, Sugarfoot. Nobody dragged you.”

Story: usual in the Jell-o era, things ramble a bit before Jack and Mary head out to do Jack’s Christmas shopping.
Celebrity Name Droppings: Gary Cooper, Barbara Stanwyck and Robert Taylor, Clark Gable and Carole Lombard.
Jell-o Hell No Suggestion of the Week: Lemon Jell-o with stewed figs and whipped cream.
My Verdict: I think most fans prefer the more polished Lucky Strike shows, but I love the freewheeling Jell-o era. The shopping trip has some fun supporting characters, and jokes about Mary’s history with the May Company are always welcome.

“Christmas for Carole”

Suspense, December 21, 1950

“You asked for this, kid. Now do as you’re told.”

Story: A bank teller’s pregnant wife is having complications and needs full-time nursing care. Unable to afford it, the teller decides to take a one- time trip into the criminal world.
Notable Performers: Singer Dennis Day, best known as a member of the Jack Benny cast, gives a good dramatic performance. Suspense often enabled actors to stretch their range in this way.
Musical Notes: You don’t think you’ll get through this without Day singing do you? He performs “The First Noel.”
My Verdict: The story keeps you guessing, and although everything works out a little too neatly in the end, you can forgive such things at Christmas.

Weird Words of Wisdom: Mugging, Smooching, and Flinging the Woo Edition

“A girl who will use her head and not her lips in securing friends will find that they are the type that she can and may later love.”

Youth’s Courtship Problems, 1940
By Alfred L. Murray

About This Book and Its Author: Christian publishing house Zondervan published this book, the work of a former U.S. Navy chaplain named Alfred L. Murray. Though the book has a Christian viewpoint, it focuses on the way young people relate to each other, rather than their relationship with God. Murray is enthusiastic about the social benefits of dating, though of course he urges a conservative code of behavior.

Murray is fond of anecdotes and expert commentary. (His experts sometimes miss the mark, especially on medical topics. One thinks the frustrations of “petting” can lead to an enlarged prostate.)

This was Murray’s second book on youth courtship, and he wrote other books on various religious topics. He died in 1965, in Seabrook, New Hampshire, where he served as pastor of the Federated Church. He is buried in Arlington National Cemetery.

Fun Fact: Lamar Hunt, an influential figure in American sports, owned a “well thumbed” copy of this book during this college years, according to biographer Michael MacCambridge.

Quotes from Youth’s Courtship Problems

On “Mail-Order Dating”: “I have known at least four girls who, by correspondence, made friends with men whom they had never seen. The correspondence continued until the men proposed and the girls married them. One girl quarreled with her husband, and they separated in a few days. The second was deserted by her lover. The third went out of her mind. The fourth apparently resulted in a happy marriage.”

“Rouged cheeks and reddened lips, highly scented perfume, and bright colored fingernails are artificial and bear testimony that the person who is extravagant in display lacks good judgment and is not real…Any girl who indulges excessively in makeup appears common.”

“The moral collapse of an individual begins the moment he uses the sacred as if it were profane. One who uses the language of a kiss without discrimination is not worthy of intimate friendship…If a kiss is meaningless, what is the guarantee that life will not be judged by the same standards?”

“There is no virtue in staging public caressing parties.” I’ve got to agree with him there.

“That which differentiates necking and petting is that the first has certain powers of restraint and restrictions, while the last is noted for its liberty and license. When the time limit is removed from kissing, and fondling with the hands is introduced, the sexual urge is intensely increased.”

“It is yet too early to determine the meaning of the terms ‘mugging,’ ‘smooching,’ and ‘flinging the woo.’ If one were to guess, he might say that ‘smooching’ is necking; ‘flinging the woo’ is just love play; ‘mugging’ is petting on the heavy side.”

As an alternative to petting: “An interest must be developed in something both can share. It may be reading a book together. The Reader’s Digest will furnish one with sufficient topics to develop into interesting conversations for a date every day of the month.”

“I recently rode from Chicago to Philadelphia on a de luxe ‘crack train’ I could not find a place in the cars where women were not smoking. The were in the Pullman, the diner, and the club car…(The porter) went on to tell me that he used to make the trip and never see a woman smoke. ‘When one did come on, I knew that she was a bad woman, but now most of the women using this train smoke.’”

“I noticed that very few men on that trip were smoking. Those who did went to the lounge room and lit a cigar. The women smoked to excess and without discrimination.” I’ve never smoked in my life. Why does this book make me want to light up?

On marijuana: “It carries him out of the world of reality. But the price for this sensation is the habit, which quickly produces sexual perversion, insanity, and crime. It is the most dangerous drug in America. Those who smoke it will never be socially or morally the same.”

“There is a record of seventeen persons who attended a party, where ‘post office’ was played, having received syphilis infection. There was one infected person at the party. He kissed several girls who in turn were kissed by other fellows. All became victims of the dreaded disease.” In case you’re wondering if it’s really possible to contract syphilis through kissing—apparently, yes.  

“The girl that men like has intelligence, but she does not make a display of it.”

“When a man speaks harsh words, he is reflecting his thinking, but a woman who ‘flies off’ or appears irritated is expressing her feelings. Do not, therefore, take her little acts of unkindness too seriously. These are but emotional, not mental, reactions.”

“Women have a way of admiring the man they fear—fear because of his greatness.”

“Avoid all types of street conversations unless you are moving. It is the mark of poor breeding to stand on a street corner and carry on a conversation.”

Read the whole Weird Words of Wisdom series!

Old-Time Radio Episode Spotlight: “Home for Thanksgiving”

“A day of thanksgiving belongs to no one people and no one land, but is in the hearts of all people of all nations who love and understand, and who face each today with courage and each tomorrow with unbounded faith.”–Paul Henreid in “Home for Thanksgiving,” Family Theater, November 27, 1947.

About This Episode: This is a heart-warming story about a former German prisoner of war returning to his battle-scarred hometown with his pregnant American bride. Paul Henreid’s performance transcends the sometimes stilted dialogue. (Joan Leslie’s performance, not so much.)
Google-worthy Reference: UNRAA, the United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration, an international effort to bring relief to war victims.

To everyone celebrating Thanksgiving today, best wishes for a warm and wonderful holiday. I’d like to offer my own thanks to those who’ve become regular readers of this blog since I started it in August. It’s great fun sharing my embarrassing treasures with you!

U.S. President Harry Truman meets Thanksgiving dinner. (Apparently, the practice of “pardoning” the ceremonial White House turkey didn’t start until 1989.) Source: Public Domain Review

Family Affair Friday(ish): Season 1, Episode 10, Beware the Other Woman

I’m sorry that this week’s installment of my Family Affair series is late. Yesterday was my birthday, and I was caught up in a mad whirl of festivity. (Actually, I was so exhausted from my work week that I fell asleep at 9 p.m.)

Season 1, Episode 10, Beware the Other Woman, 11/21/1966
Written by: Elroy Schwartz. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

An old friend–Louise Marshall–re-enters Uncle Bill’s life. Meanwhile, Cissy finds a new friend, Sharon.You can tell that Sharon is sophisticated because she describes herself as “between mothers,” with the third one having left recently. She’s also a total you-know-what stirrer, who convinces Cissy that Uncle Bill will marry Louise and ship the kids back to Terre Haute.

Sure, Sharon looks sweet here, but she sets a total Davis weep-fest in motion.

Cissy’s first impulse is to make sure that she and the twins are meeting Uncle Bill’s every need, so that he has no wish to marry. At her age, she should be able to see the fatal flaw in this plan.

The kids “help” Uncle Bill prepare for an evening out.

When that doesn’t work, she shares her fears with the twins–way to go, Cissy! Soon, everyone is bawling.

These tears aren’t terribly convincing.

Uncle Bill is able to set things right, of course. He says he has no immediate plans to marry, and marriage wouldn’t mean separation for their family anyway. He also reveals that Louise’s husband with killed in the Korean War, a few feet from where Bill was standing. (Then, he switched their dog tags and headed for Manhattan…Whoops. Right city and decade. Wrong show.)

Commentary

This episode gets way too maudlin, but it has a few nice moments.

Cute horseplay-with-Uncle-Bill scene.

Elroy Schwartz is the brother of Brady Bunch and Gilligan’s Island creator Sherwood Schwartz and a prolific TV writer in his own right. His Brady Bunch writing credits include the one where Marcia and Greg run against each other for student body president and the one where Tiger gets lost.

Guest Cast

Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Sharon James: Sherry Alberoni. Louise Marshall: Rita Gam.
Sherry Alberoni was a Mousketeer in 1956-57.

Source: Wikipedia

She worked frequently in TV in the 1960s and would appear in several more Family Affair episodes. In the 1970s and 1980s, she provided many cartoon voices, such as Wendy in Superfriends.

Rita Gam won a Golden Globe as Most Promising Female Newcomer in 1952. She’s best known for serving as a bridesmaid for Grace Kelly, a subject on which she’s given many interviews.

Rita Gam must have been very tall or worn mega heels to achieve a height so close to Brian Keith’s.

Fun Facts

Cissy is good at chemistry. Sharon lives in apartment 12B. Uncle Bill is a Korean War veteran.

Continuity Notes

This episode is filled with poignant references to abandonment and separation in Terre Haute.

Notable Quote

“It just happens that I love you so much I’m not ever gonna let you down, you got that through your head?”–Uncle Bill

Read my whole Family Affair series!