Spin Again Sunday: The Waltons (1974)

This week, my series on vintage board games is taking us to Walton’s Mountain.

The Game: The Waltons Game

Copyright Date: 1974.

Recommended Ages: 8 to 14.

Game Box: The colors are drab, which perhaps befits the Depression setting. The actor caricatures are good, as such things go. John Boy’s head is the biggest–frequent Waltons viewers will appreciate how fitting that is.

Object: “Be the first player to get rid of all your cards.”

Game board

Game Play: Like the H.R. Pufnstuf Game, this is a card game masquerading as a board game. All the cards are dealt at the beginning of the game; playing one card each turn, players try to complete puzzles featuring Waltons characters.

Game Board: The board, which features pictures of common Waltons settings, serves as a place to complete the puzzles. (The top puzzle, strangely, includes a non-regular cast member.)

An example of a completed puzzle. Anachronism alert: It’s very unlikely that a conservative 1930s farm wife would have had pierced ears.

My Thoughts: I’m surprised I didn’t own this game as a child because my family loved The Waltons. Watching the show together was a big weekly event, and it spawned a running joke that persists to this day. During the early seasons, the show’s end signaled my bedtime. My parents always tried to hustle me off to bed as the final scene faded to black, but I wasn’t having it. Didn’t Earl Hamner’s voice always announce, “Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode?” I would argue that I needed to see “the scenes.” My parents still bring this up when my own daughter is stalling at bedtime.

A John Boy card can be used to compete any puzzle. Of course it can.

Bonus Feature: Although we loved the show, my family also loved laughing at its corniness. I remember how amused we were by this Waltons parody on The Carol Burnett Show.  I don’t think we ever referred to the series as anything other than The Walnuts from then on. (The sketch more than lives up to my memories. Vincent Price and Joan Rivers as Ma and Pa Walton? Awesome!)

Read my whole Spin Again Sunday series!

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Family Affair Friday(ish): Season 1, Episode 10, Beware the Other Woman

I’m sorry that this week’s installment of my Family Affair series is late. Yesterday was my birthday, and I was caught up in a mad whirl of festivity. (Actually, I was so exhausted from my work week that I fell asleep at 9 p.m.)

Season 1, Episode 10, Beware the Other Woman, 11/21/1966
Written by: Elroy Schwartz. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

An old friend–Louise Marshall–re-enters Uncle Bill’s life. Meanwhile, Cissy finds a new friend, Sharon.You can tell that Sharon is sophisticated because she describes herself as “between mothers,” with the third one having left recently. She’s also a total you-know-what stirrer, who convinces Cissy that Uncle Bill will marry Louise and ship the kids back to Terre Haute.

Sure, Sharon looks sweet here, but she sets a total Davis weep-fest in motion.

Cissy’s first impulse is to make sure that she and the twins are meeting Uncle Bill’s every need, so that he has no wish to marry. At her age, she should be able to see the fatal flaw in this plan.

The kids “help” Uncle Bill prepare for an evening out.

When that doesn’t work, she shares her fears with the twins–way to go, Cissy! Soon, everyone is bawling.

These tears aren’t terribly convincing.

Uncle Bill is able to set things right, of course. He says he has no immediate plans to marry, and marriage wouldn’t mean separation for their family anyway. He also reveals that Louise’s husband with killed in the Korean War, a few feet from where Bill was standing. (Then, he switched their dog tags and headed for Manhattan…Whoops. Right city and decade. Wrong show.)

Commentary

This episode gets way too maudlin, but it has a few nice moments.

Cute horseplay-with-Uncle-Bill scene.

Elroy Schwartz is the brother of Brady Bunch and Gilligan’s Island creator Sherwood Schwartz and a prolific TV writer in his own right. His Brady Bunch writing credits include the one where Marcia and Greg run against each other for student body president and the one where Tiger gets lost.

Guest Cast

Ted Gaynor: John Hubbard. Sharon James: Sherry Alberoni. Louise Marshall: Rita Gam.
Sherry Alberoni was a Mousketeer in 1956-57.

Source: Wikipedia

She worked frequently in TV in the 1960s and would appear in several more Family Affair episodes. In the 1970s and 1980s, she provided many cartoon voices, such as Wendy in Superfriends.

Rita Gam won a Golden Globe as Most Promising Female Newcomer in 1952. She’s best known for serving as a bridesmaid for Grace Kelly, a subject on which she’s given many interviews.

Rita Gam must have been very tall or worn mega heels to achieve a height so close to Brian Keith’s.

Fun Facts

Cissy is good at chemistry. Sharon lives in apartment 12B. Uncle Bill is a Korean War veteran.

Continuity Notes

This episode is filled with poignant references to abandonment and separation in Terre Haute.

Notable Quote

“It just happens that I love you so much I’m not ever gonna let you down, you got that through your head?”–Uncle Bill

Read my whole Family Affair series!

Weird Words of Wisdom: Embracing Our Nature and Destiny Edition

“Unless you are expecting to marry a militant feminist (and if you are, it might be well to reconsider what is in store for you), it is best to remember that even tomboys are actually girls who are just going through a phase, and that ‘equality’ is not the best word to describe what women really want.”

The Girl That You Marry, 1960
By Dr. James H. S. Bossard and Dr. Eleanor Stoker Boll

About This Book: A reviewers’ blurb on the dust jacket says this book will help boys learn “just why the little things that seem so foolish to him are so very important to his girl.” Indeed, the authors attempt to explain the mysterious workings of the female mind through such chapters as “She is Ritualistic and Conservative,” “She Needs Security,” and “She Wants to Be a Mother.”

Oh, the authors do admit these generalizations don’t apply to every girl. “The fact is,” they write, “that some of them are so sick mentally, or maladjusted emotionally or socially that cannot even live at peace with themselves. Among this group are the girls who are rebels against their own nature and destiny.”

By the way, if you’re wondering why teenage boys would be thinking about marriage, it’s interesting to note that the median age at first marriage in 1960 was 20 for girls and 22 for boys. In other words, half the people getting married were below those ages! In 1960, 72 percent of American adults age 18 and older were married. (Today, the median age at marriage has hit a record high in America—26 for women and 28 for men, and only half of adults age 18 and older are married.)

The Macrae Smith Company published this book, and they did a crappy job. It’s riddled with typos.

About the Authors: James H. S. Bossard was a sociology professor at the University of Pennsylvania who published frequently on marriage, family, and child development issues. Eleanor Stoker Boll, another Penn sociology professor, collaborated with him often. I can find almost no biographical information about them beyond what’s on this book’s jacket. Dr. Bossard died in January 1960, before this book hit the shelves. Dr. Boll, who wrote a follow-up book called The Man That You Marry, died in February 1997.

I became slightly obsessed with finding out if these authors were married to each other. A couple of vague hints in this book suggest they were, but I can’t confirm that. In this 1959 article about weddings (which is worth a look, if only for the photo and the sidebar on 1950s wedding costs), Dr. Bossard refers to Dr. Boll as his associate. Given their attachment to traditional gender roles, I’m curious how their academic partnership worked if they were husband and wife—and even more curious about how it worked if they weren’t.

Strange Sidelight: Both Drs. Bossard and Boll worked for the William T. Carter Foundation for Child Development at Penn. While looking for information about them, I learned about William T. Carter’s son Billy—a cad who let his wife and children fend for themselves on the Titanic. His car was the model for the car where Jack and Rose got busy in the movie Titanic.

Quotes from The Girl That You Marry

On Men and Women

“Our assumption is that the girl you are going to marry is like most American girls…She likes being a girl, and she wants to become a real woman.”

“Girls are built and designed to do certain things and boys to do different things. Girls excel in some things and lag in others, just as boys do, and the more normal the boy is and the more normal the girl he marries, the more this is apt to be the case.”

“The most secure feeling that a young bride can have is the confidence that she is married to a man…A wife looks to her husband as to Gibraltar—as a rock of strength and stability. If her husband does not prove to be that, the wife loses the comfortable feeling of having a man to rely upon for things she is not equipped by nature to do as well for herself. She also is a bit disappointed in him as a male.”

“Your wife will experience this secure sense of worthiness when you recognize her as different from you and support her femininity in a manly way.”

“A boy who has not grown up with sisters is often surprised at the quick changes of reaction and mood of his new bride. She may seem sparkling and strong one day and depleted, depressed and irritable the next few days, only to return after this to her former cheery self.”

On the Relative Importance of Clothing to Men and Women

“By ages eighteen and nineteen, the popular ages for girls to marry today, she has been reared to place great stress upon being well dressed, and with many appropriate changes. This is a necessity in the competition to attract boys and to get a husband. Later, when she is a wife, it is still necessary if her husband and children are to be proud of her and if she is to maintain her self-respect and her position as a wife and a mother among other women and men.”

“…boys have been brought up to think that being well dressed themselves is a sign of, or close to, sissiness. The male author recalls across the span of many years the day he took a brand new pair of shoes and ‘worked over’ the outside with a rough stone to take away the newness of their appearance.”

On the Importance of Wedding Symbols and Festivities to Women

“An engaged girl without a ring is perpetually aware of the unseemly nakedness of her finger. Girls take great delight in visible symbols of a man’s love for them. They differ from most men in this.”

“That strange community of females that finds such romance in these occasions will probably take up her time, and yours, increasingly with showers and parties…Added this this, the girl has new and absorbing interests. The hope chest must be equipped. Every new acquisition is exciting to a girl who is picturing its use in your home and hers. Fortunate is the boy who has, or can assume, interest in guest towels and double damask dinner napkins…”

“Were you to become President of the United States, you would probably not want to be inaugurated in private. Her wedding is just as important as that to her.”

On “Sexual Adjustment”

“It has quite generally been found true that the girl who has the least petting experience before marriage is the girl apt to take longest for satisfactory sexual adjustment in marriage. And practically everyone who has questioned large groups of boys about their attitudes on premarital sex experiences finds that boys, many of whom are quite willing to exploit other girls, want their own to have had practically no petting experience.”

“Your bride, if she loves you, will comply with your wishes often, without any resistance whatsoever, in spite of surrounding conditions, and you will both find a kind of satisfaction.”

On Homemaking

“…girls are reared to be domestic, to think of homemaking as a very important job. The girl who is happy about being a girl loves this job and wants to do it in the best possible way.”

“A husband should no more try to direct his wife’s housekeeping than she should try to direct his business.”

“When the woman from next door drops in, or the boss and his wife come for dinner, no one will blame the husband if the house is ill-kept and the food unpalatable and badly served. They will only pity him…And strangely enough, those same husbands who care not what conditions the lady next door may drop in upon, swell with pride when the boss praises “your charming home” and “the little woman’s dinner party.”

“She wants to please you. Be patient with her and encourage her, and you may be the prime factor in turning an experienced young girl into the chef of chefs.”

On Parenthood

“Adult males who are physically and mentally healthy, usually are quite aware of the importance of their part in reproduction and, at some time in their lives, feel like less than whole men if they have never played their role in creating a new life. How much more is this true of the female, whose whole body has been shaped by nature for the role of motherhood.”

“The conservatism of the female, which tends to be greater than that of the male throughout life, reaches its peak at the time of motherhood and the rearing of children…As a matter of fact, some of the giddiest girls become the most conservative mothers.”

“A group of fathers in Long Island, New York, has formed a Society of Frustrated Fathers. All their children are girls and as the dads put it, ‘Girls are fine but they don’t play football.’ So these fathers meet to do together and to talk about the things they would talk about at home had they sons of their own.”

And one of the weirdest, most WTF observations ever

“Some psychiatric therapists who work with children and their mothers have told us they think some high-grade morons make better mothers for small children than do well educated and intellectual mothers…What they mean is this: A woman of low mentality can endure and enjoy the constant association with small children, and without strain, because she is mentally in gear with them.”

Read the whole Weird Words of Wisdom series!

Spin Again Sunday: Barbie Miss Lively Livin’ (1970)

In this week’s edition of Spin Again Sunday, we enter the mod world of Barbie, circa 1970, through the Miss Lively Livin’ Game. (This world was so exciting that Barbie lost the ability to enunciate her Gs.)

Copyright Date: 1970.

Recommended Ages: 8-12.

Game Box: Graphics in groovy shades of hot pink, orange, and purple add pizzazz to the box. The main photos shows tween girls with unfortunate bangs playing the game while stretched out on a shag-carpeted floor.

Game Board: This rainbow-rific board doubles as an advertising vehicle for Mattel; it shows many dolls and fashions available at the time.

Game Pieces: Photographs of Barbie, her friends Christie and P.J., and her cousin Francie.

Object: To succeed in having five different kinds of fun.

That first one gave me such trouble in high school.

Game Play: Traveling through Barbie’s world, girls attend school, shop at the Unique Boutique, go on dates, and spend time “doin’ things.” They wear metal bracelets and try to earn charms representing each kind of fun.

The charms

The first person to collect two of each charm proceeds to the pageant area. Fix your hair, grab your boyfriend, and receive your crown, Miss Lively Livin’! (The game includes a paper crown, which the winner has the prerogative of wearing throughout the subsequent game.)

My Thoughts: I like this game now because it includes photos of great mod Barbie fashions.

I’m sure I would’ve loved it as a child, too–the bracelets and crown are such a nice girly touch.

Bonus Feature: Here’s a 1970 commercial for the ultra-flexible Living Barbie. The Brady Bunch‘s Maureen McCormick was also flexible, it appears.

Though the doll was called Living Barbie, she had a Lively Livin’ House, which the Miss Lively Livin’ game board mentions.

A Living Barbie from my collection. She’s wearing Super Scarf, one of the outfits shown on the game board. I love the wool miniskirt, chain belt, and boots–it reminds me of the fashions Mary Tyler Moore wore in her show’s first season.

Join the Army, Gals–You Can Bring Your Wigs!

When a young woman is considering joining the military, she has lots of questions–about her hair. At least, that’s what the “girls” of the Women’s Army Corp believed in 1970. Because this is Veteran’s Day in the U.S., I would like to salute all the men and women who have served their country; the sacrifices they have made go far beyond hair care.

Family Affair Friday: Season 1, Episode 9, “A Matter for Experts,” 11/14/1966

I’m back this week with a full installment of my Family Affair Friday series.

Season 1, Episode 9, “A Matter for Experts,” 11/14/1966

Aired: 11/14/66. Teleplay by: Joseph Hoffman and John McGreevey. Story by: Joseph Hoffman. Directed by: William D. Russell.

Synopsis

The school vice principal, Miss Bryant, tells Uncle Bill that Buffy and Jody are completely dependent on each other and should be placed in separate classrooms. Uncle Bill resists at first, saying that being orphaned, separated for a year, and then shipped to a new home in strange city might be enough adjustment for the time being. Ya think?

All the stress drives Uncle Bill to his cigarettes, and sets him to whining about the challenges of sudden parenthood.

He takes the twins to child psychologist Edith Morse, who agrees that the twins need to develop individual interests.

If Dr. Morse was so smart, would she really choose the ugly Family Affair green for her office walls?

They are separated at school and shepherded into separate past-times, but they remain united in their imaginative play.

At recess, Jody pretends he’s traveling in a spaceship.

During her separate recess, Buffy pretends she’s part of ground control. Gender difference?

Jody does find a friend, Peter.

It’s surprising that Jody found a friend first. He’s usually portrayed as the less competent twin, in every way.

Buffy’s attempts at friendship fail, however, and she’s morose.

Buffy haz a sad.

Finally, the kids concoct a case of the measles to avoid school altogether.

Busted!

Uncle Bill decides to trust his instincts and reunite them.

Random Thoughts

At the beginning of this episode, I was indignant at the experts who wanted to split up twins. By the end, Buffy’s complete inability to function without Jody did seem worrisome.

Guest Cast

Miss Bryant: Sarah Selby. Dr. Edith Morse: Jean Engstrom. Barbara: Kym Karath. Peter: Randy Whipple. Mrs. Hughes: Susan Davis. Kym Karath was Gretl in The Sound of Music and Pattie-Cake in Spencer’s Mountain. On The Brady Bunch, she appeared as Kerry in “Cyrano de Brady.”

Kym Karath

She would appear on one more episode of Family Affair. Randy Whipple appeared in no less than 11 episodes. He also played one of Jerry Van Dyke’s kids in My Mother the Car.

Fun Facts

The twins attend PS 724. Cissy frequents The Gourmet Hamburger and doesn’t “dig” geometry. Buffy begins ballet lessons.

PS 724 has a really crappy playground.

Continuity Notes

Jody’s turtle gets another mention.

Extraordinary Event

Uncle Bill actually takes the kids to the park himself–twice!

Today’s Bonus Feature

In honor of the U.S. presidential election this week, I present a photo that unites Family Affair and the American presidency. This Associated Press photo shows Anissa Jones getting up close and personal with President Lyndon B. Johnson during a Christmas Seals event on November 12, 1968. I can’t decide if this photo is sweet or creepy.

The caption reads: KISS FOR TV STAR–President Johnson kisses Anissa (Buffy) Jones, 10-year-old television star, after receiving the first sheet of Christmas Seals today at the White House. The President who is holding the Seals in his hand, also received from Buffy a rag doll which the junior actress named “Mrs. Beasley.”

Read the whole Family Affair Friday series.

Weird Words of Wisdom: Speak Softly and Carry a Hot Breakfast Edition

“It is not enough, if you want to be liked, if you want to be loved, to be merely good. You also have to fight for the good things you want. You have to compete with other girls. What’s more you have to make up your mind to win. Otherwise you’ll not have your pick of the best boys. You’ll only have what’s left over.”

Once Upon a Dream: A Personal Chat with All Teenagers, 1960
By Patti Page

About the Book: Patti Page opens up about her own weaknesses and insecurities as she tells young fans her Cinderella story–a story that transformed Clara Ann Fowler, “that shy, overfed, part Cherokee choir singer from Claremore, Oklahoma,” into a “Singing Rage.” (Although a Cinderella motif pervades the book, the title references a song from Walt Disney’s 1959 film Sleeping Beauty.)

As we’ve seen before in this series, celebrity-written advice books for teens proliferated in the 1950s and early 1960s. While I always wonder how much the celebrities actually “wrote,” I found this book’s voice consistent and believable.

About Patti Page: All I knew about Patti Page going into this book was that she sang “How Much is That Doggie in the Window?” and “The Tennessee Waltz.” The latter was one of the best-selling songs of all time, and Page was the top-selling female artist in the 1950s.

Her rags-to-riches story had a genuinely ragged start—she was the 10th of 11 children, and money was so scarce that she sometimes went to school barefoot. In this book, she tells a moving story about the time she wanted a Mickey Mouse watch so badly that she made one out of paper.

She made up her mind to escape poverty and began to plan for a career as a commercial artist. She took a job making posters at a Tulsa radio station, soon found herself performing on the air whenever they needed a girl singer, and was “discovered” when band manager Jack Rael passed through town and heard her voice on the radio.

To her teenage readers, Page presents herself as shy and insecure, with ongoing weight issues. She talks about a period in her life when she burst into tears after every performance, and she uses the language of psychoanalysis freely.

She writes a lot about her husband, choreographer Charles O’Curran, whom she married in 1956. She doesn’t mention that she had an earlier, short-lived marriage, or that she was O’Curran’s third wife (Betty Hutton was his second). Page and O’Curran would divorce in 1972.

I’ve chosen some of Page’s sillier-sounding statements to feature here, but this book actually gives plenty of good advice. She encourages girls to be themselves, to care about others, and to develop their minds. Though she has a typically 1950s obsession with “femininity,” she advises girls against playing dumb and against letting boys get in the way of their dreams. She even manages to talk about religion without sounding preachy.

Today, at 85, Page is still performing.

Quotes from Once Upon a Dream: Inner and Outer Beauty

“Charm is simply the art of being pleasing…charm is the magic wand that can transform an ugly duckling into a princess, or a shy quiet type into the belle of the ball.”

“The girl who thinks she can get by with an overweight figure by calling attention to her face is only fooling herself. Eventually people notice her figure too. In the same way, the gayest of hats will not make up for a shabby pair of shoes. A tight-fitting sweater is a poor substitute for a bad complexion. No matter how elaborately you do your hair, which may be your good feature, how long do you really think it will keep people from noticing your teeth, which may not be so good?”

Examples that prove personality is more important than beauty: Helen Hayes, Lynn Fontanne, Katharine Cornell, Mary Martin, Ethel Merman. (“True, they’re older now than when they first rose to fame on Broadway, but even in their youth they were never what we might call great beauties.”)

“Once a week…is usually enough to keep the average girl’s hair clean. Thursday or Friday night’s the best time to do it—so you’re all set to look your best for the week-end.” Ew. If I followed this schedule, even as a middle-aged woman, my scalp could help America achieve energy independence.

“If you’re young and healthy, your eyes have enough sparkle and fire without needing any ‘extra added attractions.’ Besides, if you’re an adolescent, you’re mysterious enough. Mascara and eye shadow would make you positively inscrutable.”

“It’s impossible to apply rouge so that it looks natural on tender young cheeks…If you feel you’ve absolutely no color at all, I’d rather you pinched your cheeks—as grandmother used to. After all, she got her man.”

“A lipstick should not only blend with your own coloring but with the color of your dress.”

“The more inconspicuous your clothes, the better. “You don’t want them to distract attention from you. (It is only older women who tend to wear startling colors and daring designs to make up for tired faces and bad figures.)” She’s starting to hurt my feelings now.

Getting Along with Boys

“If you can’t be empathetic, at least be observant, especially when it comes to boys. It’s not so hard to figure out what gives them pleasure and what makes their hair stand on end.”

“Very often, for women especially, conversational ability is only a talent for listening rather than for talking. Of all the women I know, the one I have most often heard described as a brilliant conversationalist scarcely says a world. But when she sits listening to a man, she looks at him as intently as though he were first man she had ever met, and as though speech were something he had just invented.”

“Passion is violence. It is loss of reason. It is a loss of control so complete that it’s too late to say yes, no, or maybe…So the only way to handle an invitation to passion is to say No! And make the reason for your no a moral one.”

“…at one time, a woman’s greatest pride before marriage was in her chastity. It was proof she was good and pure in heart. It meant she had something precious and rather wonderful to give to the one man of her choice. But to take away this pride in virtue and to joke, as some people do, about virginity is to cheapen something rather wonderful. To indulge in sex as a biological act, rather than an expression of love, is to strip a woman’s life of dignity, meaning, and fulfillment.”

“For all their teasing and loose talk, boys—and men, too—are really looking for a girl with the courage to have standards and the wisdom to say no. It’s true, if you say no, there’s a chance you’ll never see the young man again. But there’s an even greater chance he’ll ask you to marry him.”

“There are, so far as I know, only two types of males who don’t resent an aggressive female, and I don’t think you want either of them. One is the vain ladies’ man who waits for girls to call him. He appreciates each call. It’s a tribute, he feels, to his irresistible charms. But this type of man is incapable of love. He can love only himself. The second is the weakling type, with a domineering mother, who likes girls who take charge because they remind him of his mother.”

About the kind of girl who’s a pal to boys: “This type of girl, like most people on earth, eventually does get married. It isn’t necessarily a romantic marriage. In fact, it’s usually a sensible one. But it works because both husband and wife are comfortable.”

“If you will just remember that woman’s traditional role is to help a man make something of himself, you will realize that there is always the chance that you can help the drip of today become the man of the moment tomorrow.”

“When you’re shopping for a dress, do you like to have three to choose from or thirty? Well, it seems to me that choosing a husband is a much more vital decision. And how can a girl be sure she’s making the right choice if she only knows the three or four boys she’s gone steady with?”

“And necking, contrary to popular belief, is not a way to hold a boy—it’s a sure way to lose him. No boy values anything that is too easily won. What’s more, nothing remains static. Necking either develops into something more, after a while, or it dies. Either way, you stand a good chance of the boy’s losing interest in you.”

Marriage and Femininity

“My advice to you is to have a career—not instead of marriage but before it. A career is not only, in my opinion, your best preparation for marriage, but the most enjoyable way to pass the time until you’re over 21 and ready for marriage.”

“…your generation seems to know—at a much younger age than I ever did—that for a truly feminine woman, the only true answer to life is a marriage based on true love.”

On keeping her weight down: “…it’s no longer a matter of professional pride alone. Loving my husband, I have also learned what it means to be a woman. So it’s now a matter of personal pride—the pride of a woman who is loved—that I be as pleasing as I can to my husband. (And my husband just doesn’t happen to like overweight women.)”

“…many men in enumerating the qualities they expect of the ideal woman or the model wife say, ‘Above all she must have a soft voice.’”

An interesting quote, considering that she and her husband had both been married before: “Divorce takes a terrible emotional toll. Something that is sweet and lovely and trusting seems to vanish forever from your life. Sure, you can make a second, more sensible marriage, but it won’t be the romance the first one was when you had the thrill of sharing that first apartment, that first ice cube, maybe even that first baby.” First ice cube?

“…the only way to get a man to come home every night and want to stay there is simply to make your home the place where he enjoys himself the most.”

“I think you’ll find, when your married, that it isn’t nearly so important for you to be interesting as it is to make your husband feel that he’s interesting.”

“The main purpose of marriage, which some people forget, is not just to find someone to share a life with, it’s to raise children. This is why you were born, and why you used to play with dolls.”

“I read somewhere that 60 percent of American husbands get their own breakfasts while their wives stay in bed. To me, this is a sign of trouble…How can (a wife) expect her husband’s continued love if she won’t even get up when he does and see him off to work?”

If you enjoyed this post, take a look at the whole Weird Words of Wisdom series.

And, if you want to see Page in action, here is a 1956 episode of The Patti Page Show.